Second Guessing

Preschool registration is going on around here over the next couple of weeks. Our preschool registered this week, and I know one of the 'big ones' down the road is registering on Wednesday.

I always feel like I need to do more research . . . like I didn't look enough . . . like maybe there is another school out there that is better for the girls. I don't know why I let those negative thoughts creep into my head, because I do really adore the school we have chosen for Meg and Kate. It's just something about this time of year . . . hearing of the long lines parents stand in to get their kids registered . . . that always makes me second guess.

I think we, as moms, are constantly second guessing. I can proudly say that Meg knows all of her letters and letter sounds at the age of 2 1/2 . . .but not because she necessarily wanted to learn them. Or because she had shown any interest in the alphabet at all. She learned them because her mom is a second guesser. She learned them all in about 2 weeks time because I heard of another friend who's kid knew all his letters before the age of 2. Should Meg know all her letters? I guess I'd better be teaching her all her letters! were the thoughts I had that led to the purchase of The Letter Factory and the digging out of flash cards we already had. She learned the alphabet quickly (the DVD really is fantastic and helped a ton!), and now that is one thing I can check of my "Meg should be doing this . . ." list. The problem is, that stupid list is always growing.



When I hear of another kid in gymnastics, taking some music class, enjoying a particular toy or book, I always find myself thinking, "Should I/We/Meg be doing that, too?" It's silly and a waste of energy. But I can't help it. I always want to know if I should be doing more for the girls . . . second guessing what I've done or could do to make their lives better. I think it's just part of being a mom. Par for the course, really.



We all want what is best for our kids . . . so when someone else is doing something that maybe be best for their kid, we can't help but wonder if our kid would benefit from it, too. I think it's OK to have those thoughts . . . normal, really. But when those "what if?" or "should I?" thoughts really dictate what you are doing for your own children, then it becomes an issue. I can safely say that I may tend to second guess, but I don't let those thoughts make my decisions for me.



Should I put Meg and Kate in another school? There certainly are more 'well known' preschools in the area. But, we thought long and hard about the choice we made . . . and we did made a good choice. Meg's school is small, the teachers are fantastic, the tuition (now for 2 next year) is affordable, and it's conveniently located. No, it's not the fancy schmancy school it could be, but it works perfectly for our family. I've second guessed the decision, but even on a second review I still know we made the right choice. So, back to St Andrew we will go next year.



And, there can be some benefit from second guessing. There have been several times when I've compared what I'm doing to someone else and figured out that, in fact, I could benefit from changing my ways. Meg knows her alphabet, for example (thanks, Erica ;) ). I guess it's not always bad to reconsider. I just can't waste energy reconsidering everything I'm doing for my girls . . . I have to trust that I'm doing what is best, that I'm making good decisions for us, despite what everyone else might be doing for their own families.



If you find you are a second guesser, then welcome to the club. And don't worry about a thing . . . you can come sit by me, because I think I might be eligible for club President at times.