Going Out of Business??

I'm considering closing shop for HD Portraits.



(Gasp! Shock! Oh NO! the crowd says.)



Yes, it's true. I'm thinking about it. And it's a tough decision.



I love doing photography, and I really enjoy working with families and babies. I enjoy the get-out-of-the-house aspect of my moonlighting career. I feel like it is constantly making me a better photographer . . . better than I could have ever imagined, honestly. It's wonderful work. I'm lucky to have it.



But I also worry that it's taking too much time away from my family. While I do only work two days a week, those are the two days of the week that Jim is always home. I miss Saturday mornings with my family . . . just hanging out and being together. I've missed countless birthday parties, showers, events . . . all because I already have sessions scheduled when the invitations arrive. And, I don't really work only two days a week . . . I may only shoot on Saturday/Sunday, but I'm working every day to schedule, reschedule, edit, fill orders, create cards, edit, update my website, return emails, return phone calls, more editing . . . it's a LOT of work. I probably work about 20 hours each week, easily. 20 hours that are crammed in to time when I'm not taking care of the girls . . . so 20 hours of my 'free' time. 20 hours on evenings and weekends. With all my free time used up by picture taking and the running of HD Portraits, it often feels like I don't really have any free time to enjoy doing other things. (Gasp! again -- you mean, you actually want to do something besides take and edit pictures?!)




And, let's face it. At $205 a session, I ain't payin' the bills. So, is it worth the time? The money is nice -- 'fun money' we call it -- but it's not critical to our household.




And there's another thing that bothers me . . . I sometimes feel like I'm so busy with other people's pictures, I don't have time to take and enjoy my own. I am taking a lot of pictures of Kate . . . but rarely do I get to edit them the way I want to. Her 6 month session is sitting in my computer, about 1/3 edited. I keep saying I'll get to it, but . . . really . . . will I? I bet I'll stumble across them here in another few months and think, "Man! I never got to edit all of these!"



I guess that's the beauty of digital. The pictures aren't going anywhere.




Why can't I balance work and home? Why is this so hard? Oh, if only time were unlimited. Yes, that dreaded clock is exactly what makes it all so hard. It's what makes everything so hard, dang it. If only time were unlimited.




Closing up shop for HD Portraits would certainly not be the end of my picture taking bliss. I figure that I could continue to work with my friends and family. Current clients who have had me in their homes time and time again would certainly not be turned away . . . I truly enjoy working with those families. I just might take the 'no new business' route . . . oh, but that would mean giving up newborns, which I truly adore. See? It's a hard decision. It might have to be an 'all or nothing' approach to be fair to everyone.






I guess I should figure out what is fair to me and my family first, then worry about everyone else.



Ugh.




Just thinking about it . . . trying to make up my mind . . . second guessing, once again. Maybe I'm just in a creative rut . . . I need to find new things to do with my photos. Who knows if that might help.



I realize I sound a bit spoiled (yet again) to be toying with the idea of giving up my self-made, part time career. Oh well. If you've been reading for a while, you realize that I can be a little spoiled at times. (I'm an only child -- what do you expect?)



I'll let you know when we've made a real decision . . . for now, I'm taking only limited appointments and not booking so far in advance . . . maybe those steps alone will help me find a way to manage what I enjoy with my loves here at home.