Time to Think

I was sick this weekend. SOOOO sick. Miserable. Came on late in the day on Friday and body slammed me by about 10pm. I think it was a touch of the flu, probably passed to me by the girls -- who had fevers and congestion most of last week. I was in bed most of the weekend. A total and complete bummer b/c Jim's mom was here visiting and we had planned a lot of fun things to do on such a lovely weekend.

While Jim, the girls, and Nana Dahlby did enjoy some of the fun activities, I sat in bed and had a lot of time to think. I thought about a lot of things . . . .

Summer Camps . . . the are the 'rage' around here right now, and I can't decide which Meg would like most. Dance Camp? Music? Vacation Bible School? Gymnastics? Tennis? Oh -- and what about swimming lessons? And they are all pretty pricey -- should I just skip them all together? I have this urge to involve Meg in all kinds of activities . . . and she'd love them all , I'm sure . . . but I know that one or two is probably the most that I can handle. I think I'll try to narrow it down this week and choose which camps/activites fit into our summer schedule. And which ones Meg would like most, of course.

How Many Kids Should We Have -- and When? . . . . Something I think far too much about far too often. We've always talked about three kids, so it's safe to say that there is one more baby Dahlby coming. Now that Kate has rounded the corner and is fast approaching the one year mark, the idea of another baby is creeping up on me. The plan is to wait until Kate is 2 before we attempt getting pregnant again. That would mean a baby sometime mid 2011 (corrected -- originally I wrote 2010), with Meg going off to Kindergarten later that year. I think I can handle a third once Meg is in school 5 days a week. But . . . is 3 really our number? And if we even want to toy with the idea of more (don't think I'm crazy), should we wait for that third baby? I'm already 31. But -- I'm not ready to get pregnant again yet. Two back-to-back, then a year of nursing following each has left me wanting control of my OWN body for at least a period of 6 months.

When you are stuck in bed for forever and there is NOTHING on TV (and you've watched evertyhing in the Tivo that was not originally broadcast on Disney or Public TV), you think about how big you want your family to be and when you want another baby. At least, I think about that.

Am I too hard on Meg? . . . with someone else in the house (Jim's mom), you feel like your own behavior is on display. I really started to realize how often I get on Meg's case about things . . . standing on the couch, whining, complaining, playing with her food. I'm on her case a lot. And I do threaten her quite a bit . . . You aren't acting like someone who wants a cookie after dinner. You can cooperate with me or we will not go play on the swingset . . . t's like every little thing she enjoys is held over her head. And -- on a few occassions -- I've walked into the room and said a cheery, "Hey Meg!" to my daugher, only to be met with a timid look and a "You scared me!" in return. It seems that she's on edge all the time!

Of course, when she is here visiting, I worry that Nana is going to think I'm too hard on Meg . . . but, she's the grandma, so any kind of discipline is probably viewed as too much by a grandma. Right? People tell me that Meg is sooo well behaved. Maybe it's because I'm always working on her behavior with her. Or have I scared her into submission?

I thought of a lot of other things, too.

Am I going to miss HD Portraits, now that I've decided to put that on the back burner (officially)?

Do I want to have Meg' birthday party at the pool -- or at some facility where they do all the work for me?

When am I ever going to have time to go shopping for some of the Spring things I've been wanting -- both for myself and for the house/yard?

Baby gifts, baby gifts . . . who else do I need baby gifts for? Will I have time to sew some burp clothes like I so badly want to do?

Maybe it was a busy weekend for me -- for my mind, at least. Now I've returned to the land of the living (I'm running at about 75% today), and I feel like I have soooooo much to do. I rested my body so that I would be well again before Jim left for the week, but my brain kept right on going. All rest and a little time to think . . . and somehow, I now feel exhausted.