Out in Public

Today we spent the day in Newnan with my dad. He's doing well -- so very well, and we know how lucky we are. Now that he's out of the hospital and has really started doing some research on larynjectemees (that is the term for people who have had their voice box removed), we know it could have been a LOT worse. Not that he feels lucky to have had cancer (again), but my dad seems to feel lucky to have survived and to be recovering so well so quickly.

During our visit today, we decided to take Meg to the big Burger King in town for lunch. Her lunch time request today was 'Cheeburgers' . . . and the BK down there has some really massive indoor playground equipement. Sounded like a win-win for us all.

When Dad, Meg, Kate, and I arrived at the restaurant, we decided to divide and conquer . . . Dad would take Meg to play while I took Kate with me to order the food. My dad just had his feeding tube removed last week, and he's having really no trouble with food what-so-ever. He's glad to be back eating solids, and he is anxious to taste things again. With his new electro-larynx, my dad asked me to get him a cheeseburger and a milkshake. He thought he'd try and see how easily a cheeseburger went down his still swollen throat, and the milkshake he know would be fine. I said something about being surprised that he wanted to try something like a cheeseburger, but he said he'd just see how it went.

We parted ways, and I noticed an older couple with their granddaughter sitting in the corner of the dining room, looking at us very intensely. Staring, really.

Do I know them? I thought. I always think this when I'm in my hometown of Newnan . . . I am so bad at remembering people, so I am always wondering if I should know someone that notices me.

Oh -- they are probably noticing my dad here with me and his two grandaughters. Grandparents seem to have that kinda bond in public. I decided that was probably the reason for the staring.

Then, as I walked away and got into the line to order, I realized they were actually staring at us for a totally different reason.

My dad's 'new voice' is certainly not something you hear every day. If you want a sample,
here and then click the green play buttons to listen. And those demonstrations are from people who are accustomed to using the devices . . . we are still getting used to them on the speaking AND listening ends), and it takes some time to master the new way of speaking. My dad sounds GREAT -- since he got his 'voice' last week, he's learned a lot and I think I understand about 95% of our converstaions. The phone is a bit tricky, but we are getting that, too. He's doing awesome.

But -- to those other grandparents in Burger King today -- my dad's voice was certainly something to stare at. They don't know how great he's doing. They just know it sounds weird. They probably wondered what the heck was going on . . . until they turned saw my dad speaking to me. Then they probably wondered what had happened to cause him to use an electronic voice. They probably thought a lot of different things while they were staring at us.

It didn't bother me, the staring. Like I said, it took me a minute to even realize what was going on. I don't think it really bothers my dad, either. He mentioned to me that he's already been experiencing this type of thing . . . in the hosptial, people would stare at him as he moved through the hallways for different tests and radiation treatments. He's getting used to it.

I just was very caught off guard at the whole thing. I wanted to go back and tell them to stop staring -- that he'd lost his larynx to cancer -- that they were being so rude to oggle at us. Of course, I didn't. We'll experience this more, I know . . . and I'll want to have a few words with other nosy people, I'm sure. But I probalby never will. I'll get used to it; I'll ignore it. I honestly couldn't care less about what other people are thinking of us when we chat with each other out in public. I am just so very glad to have my dad here -- with me and my family -- with or without a voice. The rest of the world can stare all they want.

It was our first experience of this kind, that's all. I realize now that we are probably something to stare at, since we are now not the most common pair of people you'd see at your local BK. Being out in public . . . just another thing that has changed with this surgery. A LOT of things changed . . . more than I even imagined, more than my dad could have even anticipated. We are getting used to it all, one day at a time.