A Year Later

If you go back and read my blogs from one year ago, I think you can hear the stress, depression, and anxiety I was living through as I settled in to our life with two young children.

But this year, one short year later, life is so much better. It's a whole hell-of-a-lot easier with regards to taking care of the girls, and I'm a whole hell-of-a-lot better equipped to handle our family and all it entails. Funny -- with my dad's cancer and my mother's death this year, it's really been one of the worst years of my life. But with regards to my immediate family and my day-to-day life and responsibilities, it really has not been bad at all.

I remember how hard it was to get through the evenings last fall and winter. Everything took soooo long . . . and I had to do sooooo much because both of the girls were still very young and dependent on me. I had to spoon feed Kate, dress Meg, wash them both, dress them, nurse Kate, put them to bed. The evenings here are still very hectic, but they are getting easier every day. Dinner is not the marathon it once was . . . we all eat the same thing for dinner every night, and everyone feeds herself. Granted, sometimes I don't finish my plate because I'm refilling milk glasses or offering seconds to Kate (my BIG eater), but at least I'm not spoon feeding anyone or holding anyone in my lap. Meg is becoming quite a helper at dinner time -- putting dishes in the sink, cleaning up toys in the living room while I clean up the kitchen. Kate is learning to eat at the table (without the use of her high chair tray), so pretty soon we will all just sit there together and enjoy our meals as one happy family.

I can throw both girls in the tub together, wash and dry them, all in about 20 minutes (longer on some nights if I let them play while I relax for a few minutes by the side of their tub). Meg can get out of the tub, dry herself, retrieve her jammies, and put them on all by herself . . . all while I take care of Kate. Meg's ability to dress herself has been the BIGGEST milestone when it comes to our evenings . . . I'm so grateful that (for whatever self-motivated reason) she decided she was ready to start doing that. Kate does not have to be nursed anymore, so I can just jammie her up, sweetly rock her for a minute or two, they lay her down and off to sleep she goes. I read Meg a few stories, then it's lights out for her, too. Bedtime is really an entirely different process than it was one short year ago.

One year has made all the difference. There are many, MANY things that are easier . . . and a few things that are still kinda tough. We do have to have TWO of everything now -- two lollipops, two juice boxes, two snack cups. When we get ready to go somewhere -- especially now that the weather is cool -- there is a lot of shoe-tying and jacket-zipping to be done. And two totally mobile, very curious girls in a public restroom is a little harder than it was when Kate used to just hang in a stroller. But I think it's a trade off . . . and I would totally trade our 'hard' things now for what was once REALLY hard.

I survived the year with a newborn and a two year old. Now I'm loving my year with a one year old and a three year old. I hear it just gets better and better . . . which will make it harder and harder for us to go back to the beginning and have another baby. Ahhhh, but that is a conversation for another day. A conversation I've told Jim I'm not ready to have for at least another year. For now, I'm just going to enjoy these girls and the things that life throws me.

Happy One-Year-Later to Me!