A Bad Girl

Okay, so how do you discipline a toddler? We are having a rough week here, and I need some advice.

We are trying the time out method, but it doesn't seem to work that well. There is no problem with Meg going to time out . . . in fact, she goes willingly. And 95% of the time, she stays as she should and apologizes when she is allowed to get up.

The problem, I realized just today, is that she's not really taking a 'time out' from anything that she cares about. She's only 2, she has no siblings to play with, and she doesn't really understand the whole idea of 'thinking about your actions' while she's doing her time. When she goes to time out, it's just something else to do . . . it is not working as a punishment. There is nothing bad about time out for Meg.

Yesterday, while at a friend's house, one of Meg's friends was put in time out for biting. THAT 'time out' worked because there was activity going on -- fun activity -- that the little girl was removed from. She wanted to play, but she had to sit in time out for her actions. It was a true punishment.

At our house, there is really not a whole lot going on that Meg is missing out on when she's in time out. So, how is that really going to influence her to act appropriately?

We've started taking away some of the things we know that she loves as a result of the fruitless 'time outs'. Ugh, this method of discipline is NO fun . . . not to mention the fact that Meg really doesn't have much that we can hold over her head at only 2 years old. Sure, when she's 8 we can ground her and 16 we'll take away the car . . . but at 2?

I've mentioned before that we take away bedtime stories when she is bad in the evenings. If she misbehaves at the table, no stories after bath. Great . . . but if she has already lost her stories by 6pm in the evening, what can we threaten her with for the rest of the night?

Tonight, Meg was awful during "bath and bed" time. She stood up in the tub (a big no-no here), she ran away when we tried to dress her, she climbed into bed with her Kate and antagonized her, she talked back to Daddy. That was certainly enough for the loss of bedtime stories. When she kept on and on, what we were supposed to do?!

We took her buddy Diego (a 3 foot stuffed doll that sleeps with her) out of the bed. She was not allowed to sleep with him tonight. THAT WORKED. Suddenly, she was upset and realized that she was going to lose something very precious to her. Meg cried when we took Diego out of the room . . . oh, how she cried. And when she was crying, you know what I was thinking?

"Good, maybe we are finally getting through to her."

Am I awful? I was nearly glad that she was upset . . . hoping that she can somehow learn that we mean what we say. That she needs to check her behavior and act like a good girl. I felt that maybe we had found something that had gotten through to her. What else could we do?!

We will see how tomorrow goes. The last few days have been far from fun at the Dahlby house. This morning started bad, so I knew today would be a doozy. With the exception of a little peace while Meg was at school, it certainly was. Hopefully a lonely night of Diego-less sleep will help Meg realize that the world does not revolve around her and that Mom and Dad are still in charge around here.

If you have any tips or words of encouragement, I invite you to share . . . I'm at the end of my rope.