Favorite Photo(s) Friday, Week 1

I often have pictures that I love . . . and would love to share . . . that don't necessarily fit into the topic of a blog. So, I've decided to dedicate Fridays to these photos. Since photography is such a big part of my life, it only figures that I could dedicate one day a week to showing you some of my favorite stuff.

So here goes: Favorite Photo(s) Friday, Week 1

Mr and Mrs James Dahlby, Newnan GA, August 16, 2008

I think this is my favorite photo of Jim and I at our wedding . . . and it wasn't even taken by our photographer. Jim's sister Julie snapped this shorty after we were officially married and shortly before we were introduced for the 2nd time as husband and wife. I remember everything about this picture . . . the goal was to get the limo in the shot. But I think we captured so much more.

I love how happy we look. I love our youth here. So much in front of us. And we had no idea . . . and we still don't.

(And, as a photograher, I love the leading lines the limo creates . . . and I do hate that Jim's aunt
can be seen sneaking by in the background!)

I like looking back at this picture and remembering where we started. And that makes me realize how far we have to go.

Picture This

After dinner is complete and living room toys are put away, take toddler and baby upstairs into baby's room.

Place baby in crib. Turn on the crib mobile for entertainment.
Todder will typically follow you around at this time, so no entertainment is necessary for her.

Using the bathroom in the baby's room, begin by turning on the faucet in the bathtub.

Wait until the water is appropriate temperature, then close the drain.

Place baby bath tub under the facet and fill until desired fullness (a little less than 1/2 way, usually).

Remove baby tub and place it on the bathroom counter.

Allow water to continue to run and fill the bathtub.

Fill sink next to baby tub with warm water.

Undress toddler.

Ask toddler to run to her room (naked) and place dirty clothes in the hamper.

Check on baby in crib.

When toddler returns to the room, place her in the bathtub.

Turn off the faucet in the bathtub.

**The order of the next few events may be reversed . . . if baby is crying when toddler is placed in the tub, baby is bathed first. If baby is content, toddler is bathed first.**

Wash toddler . . . arms, legs, face, hiney.

Wash toddler's hair. Rinse.

Place conditioner in toddler's hair.

Brush toddler's teeth. Allow toddler to brush her own teeth for a minute or s after you are satisfied with your brushing job.

Rinse conditioner from toddler's hair.

Praise toddler for being cooperative during bath time and allow her to play with her tub toys.

Remove a baby towel from the cabinet under the sink and drape over the closed toilet seat.

Return to baby's room.

Undress baby while in the crib.

Turn off the mobile and bring naked baby into the bathroom (where toddler is playing in the bathtub).

Place baby into baby tub on the counter.

Wash baby . . . arms, legs, face, hiney.

Wash baby's hair. Rinse (using the clean water from the sink next to the baby tub).

Drain sink.

Rinse baby a few more times with tub water (because she seems to enjoy the warm water).

Remove baby from tub and lay onto toilet seat. Wrap her in the baby towel quickly -- never letting go of baby.

Return to baby's room with towel-wrapped baby.

Toddler continues to play in the bathtub.

Dress baby on the changing table. Lotion, diaper, jammies.

Brush baby's hair.

Place baby back into the crib. Turn on the mobile again for entertainment.

Return to the bathroom.

Dump water from the baby tub into the big bathtub -- while toddler is still in the tub. Toddler thinks this is a funny game.

Remove toddler-size towel from the cabinet under the sink and place on closed toilet seat.

Pull bathtub drain.

Remove all toys from the bath tub -- with toddler's help -- and place in various areas around the tub.

Drape washcloths used for baby and toddler over the faucet head for drying.

Allow toddler to stand up and walk over the edge of the tub, exiting onto the bath mat.

With toddler standing on the bath mat, wrap towel around toddler.

Remove water from the toddler. Towel dry hair as much as possible.

Allow toddler to run (naked) back into her room.

As you walk through baby's room, peek at baby to make sure she is still entertained by the mobile. Many times, she is losing interest at this point in the process . . . but she must remain in the crib for a few more minutes.

Follow toddler into her bedroom.

Let her run around, pick out bed time reading material, and locate her "lovey" while you are gathering dressing materials: a pull up, jammies, and a comb.

Convince toddler to come stand by you so that you can dress her.

Put Pull Up on toddler.

Lotion toddler (sometimes this step is omitted -- depending on if baby is screaming from the crib at this point).

Put jammies on toddler. Encourage her to do as much of it by herself as possible.

Comb toddler's hair (while listening to "No pull my hair!" most nights).

Allow toddler to return to book selection and lovey location.

Return to baby's room and pick up baby.

Smell her -- because she smells like heaven just after a bath.

If she was screaming, apologize for leaving her there.

If she was content, compliment her for her patience.

Locate a pacifier somewhere in baby's room and stick it in your pocket.

Return to toddler's room.

Turn on toddler's CD player with bedtime music.

Climb into toddler's bed with baby in your arms . . . rest baby on toddler's pillow.

If necessary, use paci to pacify baby.

Have toddler climb into bed, grab lovey, and settle in for stories.

Read two or three stories to toddler (or, sometimes, read ONE story THREE times) while baby rests on pillow. Both children listen intently (hopefully).

Climb out of toddler's bed with baby in your arms.

Kiss toddler goodnight.

Tell her what you are going to do the following day. This is just a habit -- it is fun to let her know what's going on in her life.

Turn off the light.

Leave the room, close the door.

Return to the main floor of the house with baby in your arms.

And that is how my evenings go these days. It takes about 35 hectic minutes to bathe both girls and dress them for bed, but it works.

The Second 'First'

Meg started school last week. It's only 2-year-old preschool, and it's only two days a week . . . but still, we had to take pictures of the 'first day' for the baby books.

This was Meg's second 'first day of school' last Thursday, and a day that I was very much looking forward to. I enjoy the mornings when she is at school (Tues/Thurs this year) . . . I can't lie. But I can only enjoy my toddler-less mornings becuase I know she enjoys her mornings away. They play, do art, have music class . . . it's a genuine preschool with curriculum and everything . . . even at the 2-yr-old level. It's wonderful. It's a great fit for our family.

I wasn't as upset leaving her with her teacher this year because I knew she'd have a great time. I stayed only long enough to drop off the supplies (including the afore mentioned antibiotic wipes), then I left. I don't think Meg even noticed I was gone.

Okay . . . there were a few (fake) protests when we arrived in the classroom for that first day . . .

. . . but, all in all, Meg loves it.

She came home telling me all about what they did at school and who her friends were, which was very VERY different from last year. Last year, she was barely talking on the first day of school (signing more than anything at 15 mos), so I only knew what had gone on based on the note the teacher sent home. I was delighted this year to hear Meg tell me all about "The Wheels on the Bus" -- and then read her teachers note later to confirm that they had, in fact, read that story and sang that song. Such a big girl.

We are off to a great year. The second 'first day of school' is now officially under our belt.

Another second 'first' happened just this morning. Kate had her 2 month round of immunizations. It was my second 'first' round of shots as a mom. Last time -- with Meg -- I was incredibly upset when arriving for the appointment because I knew what was coming. Or, I guess maybe I didn't know what was coming, and that was what upset me. This time around, I know that they only cry for a minute . . . that the shots are quick . . . and that they recover very fast. Kate did just that. Momentary screams, then quickly to a nap once in the car. It was easy this time, my second time around as a mommy.

Kate weighed in this morning at 10lbs, 6oz and is now 22 in long. Still quite a peanut on the charts -- only 25th percentiles for weight and height. She is now as big as her big sister was at her ONE month appointment. My little Katy-did . . . tiny, but perfectly healthy. And that is all that matters.

(Incidentally, she is sleeping about 9 hours at night. Insane, I know. Last night she was out at 9:30pm and I woke her up at 7:45am so we could go to our appointment. I never knew that a baby could be so easy!)

Two Things

Two things that are getting me through the days right now:

1) A photographer friend of mine took a photo of herself, just 3 months post-baby. She posted it on the internet and captioned it with: "Could be better, could be worse."

That has made all the difference in helping me with my own personal body image . . . that unique outlook, that silver lining. I find myself thinking the same thing now when I look at myself in the mirror.


It helps, it really does. Try it for yourself.

I'm very grateful to Lori for sharing her outlook with me . . . it's made my days just a little bit more bearable.

2) I recently read an interesting book about motherhood in which the idea of a mother's guilt was tackled head on. We all carry too much guilt . . . more than we should on almost any given day. Guilt for what we should do . . . guilit for what we shouldn't . . . it's more than one person can bear, at times.

Advice the authors gave: replace the word 'guilt' with the word 'regret' when you are feeling bad about something, and see if you really should change your actions.

For example, "I feel so guilty about leaving Jim with the kids and going to get a pedicure." Replaced with 'regret' . . . "I regret leaving Jim with the kids and going to get a pedicure." If so, then the pedicure is probably not the right thing to do. If not, then go . . . there is no shame in doing something for yourself.



I find that I do carry a lot of guilt. Unnecessary guilt. We all do. Especially those with more than one kid . . . there is constant guilt over not being able to be everything to both of them at the same time.


But really evaluating my guilt has helped me manage it. I find that I can get rid of some of it . . . and it helps me to better exert my emotions where they should be exerted (like in loving my kids!).

It helps, it really does. Again, try it for yourself.

No Judgements

I've realized lately that some of you out there may be judging me. I hope not, but it's inevitable. We are moms, and we judge each other.



If you are honest with yourself, you know you do it. You look at that other mom and think, "Why is she doing it THAT way?" or "I would never do what she's doing." It's easy to do, especially when we are not in the other person's shoes.



Like the whole swatting-Meg's-leg thing. I was very, VERY leery about posting that story because you all might think of me as a 'bad mom' for my actions. You might judge. My hope -- and the reason I DID post it -- is that you will appreciate my honesty more than you will judge my actions. I'm hoping that you can relate to some of what I'm going through, to some of the things I've done . . . that my honesty in my posts will help you realize you are not alone.



I'm hoping that you'd rather be honest with yourself when reading my blog than judge me for my honesty.



You know that you've done things in your days as a mom that you are embarrassed about, things you regret, things you don't want to tell anyone. Things that you are afraid others might judge you for . . . if only they knew. And it's OK. If you are reading this blog, then you know that I have done those embarrassing, terrible things, too. You aren't alone. I hope that helps.



We are all together in this motherhood thing. And I believe we can be excellent resources for one another. As long as there is honesty . . . and no judgements.

Nuggets from Mommy-hood

I want my body back. I do. It's not mine . . . and it hasn't been for going on THREE YEARS now. Oct 2005 - June 2006 I was pregnant with Meg; June 2006 - July 2007, I nursed her; June - Aug 2007 I was pregnant; early Oct 2007 - June 2008 I was pregnant again; June 2008 - present, I'm nursing again. Only during a 6 week break between the miscarriage and Kate's pregnancy did I really have my body under my control. And what was I trying to do nearly that whole time? Get pregnant again.

When you think about it, it's sad . . . since October of 2005, I haven't been able eat or drink whatever I want. Physical activity has been limited at times, as has my ability to sleep or be comfortable. I love being a mom and the whole ordeal that it takes, but I'd like my body back now, please.

How much longer? you might ask. At least 11 months . . . until Kate is weaned just after her 1st birthday. Shall I start a countdown?

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When we were traveling back from Kansas, I made a trip to the bathroom at the KCI airport. A very unusual trip alone . . . no toddler or baby with me. You know what I did? I stayed in my stall way longer than necessary. After my business was taken care of, I sighed to myself and realized the rarity of my situation. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back . . . and relished the tranquility of the public bathroom.

Is that shameful? Who cares. It was about 4 cherished minutes of quiet time. I take what I can get these days.

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Ever heard of antibiotic wipes? Anyone? They were on the list of items requested by Meg's preschool teacher. I've been on a hunt for these silly things, and I've asked everyone I know to help me figure out what they are.

At first, I thought I had outsmarted the teacher . . . she meant antibacterial wipes, certainly. Antibiotic wipes would be, like, Neosporin wipes, and I don't think those exist. Antibacterial wipes are those Lysol or Clorox things for wiping counters and tables.

No. Wrong. Antibiotic wipes do exist. Wet Ones . The teacher explained it to me when I dropped Meg off for the first day of preschool. The only excuse I can find for my confusion is that they are antibacterial . . . at least, that's what they say on the can.

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I stood there in the dark of night, swaying back and forth with Kate . . . wondering if I should do it or not. She was sound asleep. She's been sleeping through the night for a few weeks now. She was 9 weeks old. Was it time?

And then I decided that YES, it was time. And I leaned over and put Kate down to sleep in her crib in her room. She's no longer in her bassinett next to our bed. She's sleeping in her own room now.

Part of me is sad because it's one more milestone that is gone from her little baby days. And -- I have to admit -- part of me is happy to claim my bedroom back. I kinda missed it being just Jim and my space these past few months.

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I have a confession. When I was putting Meg to bed one night recently, an act occurred that really shocked me. While reading bed time stories, Meg leaned over and softly brushed Kate's little, tiny head. Then, open handed, she popped Kate in the face.

That wasn't the shocking part.

The shocking part was my knee-jerk reaction: I popped Meg on the leg. I did. I hit her . . . not very hard, but with a bit of anger in my swing. I was so mad at her for hitting Kate. Furious because we've talked about it and because Meg knows better. Without thinking, I returned the action . . . right on her left knee. It happened before I could even stop it.

Meg's reaction? She smiled. My reaction? I was stunned.

"Well, what now?" I was thinking. "Consistency. Follow through. No empty threats." All my parenting jargon was floating around in my head. I couldn't just take it back . . . would that make me look like a softy? I told Meg how mad I was that she hit Kate and what unexceptable behavior that was. I just kept telling her, "That made Mommy so mad!"

Before I left her for the night, I apologized for swatting her leg. I explained that Mommy should not do that, just like she should not hit Kate. I told her I was sorry. I kissed her forhead. I don't know if she understands it all . . . but I couldn't just hit her and get away with it. It wasn't right, and it's not how I want to raise her.

I hope it never happens again. And now that I know what might happen, I'm sure I'll guard myself against it. A mistake I won't forget, trust me.

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Weight Watchers Update: down to 160 lbs. My new weight means about 8 pounds lost since I began 4 weeks ago. No record setting pace, but that's OK. Remember -- we did go on vacation for a week -- so I'm not down on myself. I'm proud. Every little bit we inch left on that scale is a little bit closer to where I'd like to be.

My anniversary present -- for the wonderful 5th wedding anniversary that Jim and I recently celebrated -- was a new double jogging stroller. I wanted it so that I could get out and walk off some of this baby weight. Nothing fancy at all . . . for I am certainly no athlete . . . just something to get me around the neighborhood with both girls. I tried to take a walk with the one double stroller we do have (on loan from a good friend), but it was too much like a bus. And Meg could easily hop in and out of her seat, which she found joy in doing about every 15-20 steps. The jogger should be just what we need to enjoy some cool air in the mornings and help me get back into some of my regular clothes.

Family Vacation

As you know, we returned Wednesday from our family vacation to Kansas. Six days after we left, we returned home with both kids and a renewed sense of sanity. It was a great trip for everyone involved, as I've mentioned. Meg and Kate loved spending time with the grandparents, who couldn’t get enough of them for the entire week we were there. Jim and I got to rest and relax with the extra help with had with both girls. It was just what I wanted from this family vacation – down time, time with the family, and even a little ME time.

When I started thinking about our trip, I realized that it is pretty amazing how the idea of a vacation changes as soon as you put the word ‘family’ in front of it. It used to be that a vacation included lots of activity, awesome food at awesome restaurants, new sights and sounds in a far away destination, and (of course) a few late nights with everyone’s favorite vacation friend, Mr. Alcohol. But a family vacation is all together different.

As soon as you become a family (and by that I mean have a child), vacation isn’t the same any more. ‘Vacation’ changes – morphs and then splits, really – into one of two possible scenarios: the kind where you go without your kids and the kind where your kids go with you.

Without your kids, vacation somewhat resembles what it once was . . . with lots of meals out and maybe even a late night or two. You may even choose to travel far away because you know you can handle the flight (but the kids couldn't). But on those vacations, along with your swimsuit, toiletries, and other various items, you pack a little bit of guilt in your suitcase. You miss your kids, and there are plenty of times on the trip that you think of them and wish they were there with you. Oh – trust me – there are plenty of times you are NOT thinking of your kids on those kid-less vacations . . . but that new element of the one (or two) you left behind is something that will always be on any vacation you take without them.

With your kids, vacation is completely different than it’s ever been before. Some might say that it's not really a vacation at all because of all the prep and work that goes in to the before, during, and after. That is the kind of vacation we took to Kansas . . . both kids in tow, sharing all of the fun that Kansas has with our bright eyed little girls. A family vacation. It took me about 4 days to pack. I think we ate only one meal in a restaurant because it’s SO much easier to eat at home. Each and every thing we did – or planned to do – had to take place between feedings for Kate and between naps for Meg. We didn’t stay up late. We didn't go anywhere new . . . that can be a risky endeavor with two kids. Who wants to brave the unknown with two kids along? I didn't even drink very much (I guess I have Kate to thank for that).

But, as different as it might be, a family vacation is really worth it, as I learned in this last week.

Meg loved flying on the airplane. She was excited at everything new she saw, from the airport to the plane itself to the baggage coming around the carousel. Meg enjoyed being with Nana and Papa . . . she loved the petting zoo, the boat, swimming, sleeping in a 'cubby' at the lake house . . . just about every single thing we did brought a smile to her face. All of the packing and planning was completely worth the effort. I got to enjoy my little girl enjoying her trip, and that was enough for me to have a great time myself.

Kate had fun, I'm sure . . . in her own 8 week old kind of way. Having her along this time . . . and watching Meg have a blast . . . made be so excited for the future summer trips when both girls go on family vacations with us and enjoy each minute. I can't wait. Really . . . I can't. I look forward to all the fabulous trips to come. I'm so anxious to experience the ultimate family vacation . . . and I think that DisneyWorld would be an awesome place for the Dahlby girls to celebrate their 1st and 3rd birthdays next summer. Unfortunately, Daddy Dahlby isn't on board with that idea just yet.

Until a vacation that gradious, I think we'll settle for our little trips here and there. We will have another big family trip during the holidays, when we journey back to Kansas and Iowa to celebrate Christmas with the family. That one should be a little easier, now that we have our first family trip under our belt. Even if it's not easier, at least I know that it will be worth it.

TAKE TWO . . .

Many apologies . . . after crashing into the Google storage space wall and evaluating our options, we (well, I) decided to buy some space from Google to keep the blog and my web albums going. After all, how could I possibly stop now?

Now where was I? Oh, yes . . . Kansas. We'd left Jim's home and made it safely to the Lake of the Ozarks for a few days in the sun . . .

We arrived at the lake house on Saturday afternoon, and Meg could not WAIT to jump in the water. It was a wonderful way to spend Saturday through Tuesday . . . lounging on the dock, swimming in the lake, and tooling around on the boat.

If those smiles don't tell you how much fun she had, I don't know what would.

I just thought this was funny . . . we called it the 'floating bar' . . . Meg, sucking down Apple Juice is the funniest part :)

Once we'd fed ducks at the petting zoo, Meg was super excited at the idea of feeding MORE ducks down at the lake. The trouble: we couldn't find any. We looked and looked, but they were nowhere to befound. Finally, on the 3rd day, we found ONE lonely duck outside of the restaurant where we docked the boat . . . and Meg was more than willing to feed him the moldy bread we'd been carrying around for days. One duck was all it took . . . that was enough to satisfy her need to 'feed the ducks a-jen' (again) as she says.

Kate was simply too little to go on the boat this year, so she spent a lot of time in the shade with Nana Dahlby. She was an excellent baby the whole trip -- what a trooper, really. Meg was always checking on her -- here she is, giving little sister a very wet hug after coming out of the water.


Our last morning on the lake was filled with water sports . . . skiing and an attempt at kneeboarding. I didn't participate . . . I was too worried about how sore I'd be the next day for our trip back to ATL. I know, I'm a party pooper. But when you have to be responsible for two kids on a plane, you think ahead and weigh your options.

The last day -- Wednesday -- and our trip home. Again, both girls were as good as gold on the plane and in the car. Whew . . . they might give me fits at home, but at least they travel well.

There were many more exciting events . . . cousin Audra and her family came to see us on Thursday, Jim's mom had a bunch of our friends over on Friday night, Great Grandma spent half of the trip with us . . . too much to blog about (and keep you interested in reading it all). We had a great time, and that's all there is too it.

We'll be back in Kansas again at Christmas, which seems all to far away. Our Kansas trips are always great . . . thanks again to the Dahlbys for making everything so wonderful.

Ahh . . . But OUR Home is Where the Heart Is

We are back in East Cobb tonight . . . doing laundry, unpacking, and relaxing after our long day of travel.

The trip really was awesome. I got everything I could have wished for . . . rest, sleep, relaxation . . . oh . . . and some time with the family, too. Meg and Kate were fantastic, taking all the change and excitement in stride. Jim's dad and mom were fantastic to us, doing all they could to make sure we had a great visit. It was a wonderful week.


Here are some of the highlights . . .

The plane ride itself was enough to get Meg totally excited about our trip. She declared on the ride to the airport . . . "The airplane is gonna come pick us up!" So Jim and I went with it . . . we spent the rest of the morning talking about all the things we had to do before the airplane would come pick us up. It worked . . . the flight was a breeze with two fantastically behaved girls.

I mentioned before that we went to a petting zoo while at Jim's home in Overland Park (before our trip down to the lake house). Watching Meg enjoy the animals was nothing short of a blast. Very fun for everyone. The highlight was certainly feeding the goats a bottle . . . and if you ask her about it today, Meg will tell you all about feeding corn to the ducks and a bottle to the baby goats.

On Saturday, we left KC and headed to the lake house . . . a 2.5 hour drive. With a newly potty-trained two year old and a two month old (always hungry) baby. I was a little worried about it. Much to my surprise, both girls slept the first half, and Meg was totally content to snack and watch movies the second half. No complaints from me!

*** I will have to post more photos and trip stories later . . . I just reached my space quota for Google, and I had to buy more! Sorry to cut it short . . . more to come ***

There's No Place Like Home

Here we are, one happy family, enjoying some time in the great state of Kansas.

Since we left Georgia on Thursday morning, we've:

• Made to Kansas on an airplane with two children, 7 bags, and 0 potty accidents.


• Did some late night shopping (after a glass or two of wine) and got some cute new things for the girls. (Shopping after drinks is never good for the pocketbook!)


• Taken the girls to the fabulous petting zoo here in Overland Park (KS) and fed ducks and goats . . . Meg even fed a bottle to a baby goat, the highlight of our day.


• Enjoyed an evening with friends as Jim's mom hosted a little party for us last night.


• Went out to breakfast -- just Jim and I -- to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary, which is today (8/16).


• Packed up everything we could think of, loaded the car, and headed to the Lake of the Ozarks to spend a few days at Jim's family lake house.

It's been a wonderful 48 hours. A few things I haven't done include: bathing my toddler, changing countless diapers, and filling countless sippy cups. These things have been getting done -- don't worry -- I just haven't had to do them. Gotta love Nana and Papa.

We are throughly enjoying our time here . . . and we hope you are enjoying your weekend where you are.

"Geez," is All I Can Say.

The fever Meg had on Sunday? That the doctor declared on Monday to be 'one of those things' and nothing to worry about?

As it turns out, it was the first stage of Fifth's Disease. The second stage -- the lovely RASH that broke out all over Meg's face -- came this morning.

"The good news is that once the rash breaks out, you aren't contagious any more," the doctor said confidently on the telephone this afternoon.

Of course. That's great news.

Too bad I hosted a playdate with FOUR OTHER CHILDREN at my house yesterday.

"Geez," is all I can say about the whole situation. I called my friends to tell them that we may have contiminated them. I feel just horrible about the entire thing. There was no way for me to know . . . I realize . . . but I still feel bad for exposing any kid to anything like this.

Why? Really . . . why? This week of all weeks? Oh -- probably because we have a million things going on and we are getting ready to fly to Kansas tomorrow. Things like this very rarely happen in a week when we don't have much going on. That would be too convenient.

They say that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, and I do believe that. I do. But, dude, that guy must think a lot of me if he knows that I can handle this much.

More from Kansas . . . when we are there in one piece with all of our kids . . . including the rashy one, who was given the OK to travel. After all, she's not contagious any more.

Expectations

Some of you have asked me . . . how do you do it? How do you make it through these hard times with a good attitude? How can you handle two little ones without going crazy? I've even been told that I make having a toddler look easy (laugh, scoff, chuckle).

Well, my attitude is not always good . . . as my husband and two-year old can attest to. And, as you know, I've been pretty close to crazy lately. And making Meg look good is getting harder and harder as she finds her own precious personality.

Kidding aside . . . I think that I do make it through these hard times because I make an effort to set reasonable expectations for what is going on. I think expectations are key to managing change. To managing just about anything, really.

Some of my frustration with Meg these last few weeks is because I have let my expectations get out of whack. I find that -- when I take a step back and really look at what is happening -- I realize that she's not being as bad or unruly as I might think. Crikey, the kid is only TWO. I remind myself of that almost daily. I remind her, too. "Meg, UGH. Can you stop being a two year old?" jokingly comes out of my mouth at times. I have to remember that she's working things out in a way that her little mind thinks is right. Her little two-year old mind, that doesn't know all the definitions of right and wrong yet, that doesn't quite understand how this new baby in our house is going to benefit her life. I have to expect a little less from my little girl. Not exactly lower my expectations . . . there are certain behaviors and actions I just won't tolerate . . . but get them to a place that is reasonable and adequate for my child.


For Kate, I have expectations that she'll be just like her big sister. That too, has caused issues. Stress, really -- it's caused me stress. Undue stress. I worry because Kate is a fast eater and because she goes 3 hours between meals . . . where Meg was a lounger on the boob and would want it every 2 hours. I worry because she coughs and spits up after meals occasionally, which Meg did not do . . . so it's not expected. Anything unexpected coming from Kate totally stresses me out. I've said it before . . . I'm learning that different does not mean that something is wrong. Sometimes I need to cast my expectations for my baby to the side and let her develop and grow in her own, unique way.

Other times, it's nice knowing what to expect from Kate (for the most part), and it gives me some extra room to breathe . . . room I didn't find when Meg was an infant. I am OK with letting Kate cry it out in the crib because I know -- I expect -- that it's not going to hurt her and that she will go off to sleep within a reasonable amount of time. So far, no problems there. Maybe NOT being able to have already-set expectations for Meg is what makes things challenging . . . she's my 'pioneer', so to speak. With her, I'm forging ahead into uncharted territory . . . so I never really know WHAT to expect. There is very little peace-of-mind, like I have with Kate.

Expectations for myself . . . well, that's another beast all together. I expect TOO much from myself. That's the only child in me, no doubt. Only children are perfectionists amplified (according to the The Birth Order Book ), so I can safely lay the blame for my self-induced stress on my place in my family. (Or, I could blame my parents for not giving me siblings, I guess.) I'm trying, really I am. I'm learning that I can't do it all . . . and that I really don't have to. I'm also learning that I can have it all . . . just not all at the same time. I'm working on managing my own personal expectations, but it's certainly a work in progress.

If you sit back and think about all that we expect of ourselves as mothers, wifes, sisters, friends . . . . it really is overwhelming. Maybe that's what has been making me so crazy lately. Like I said, it's all a work in progress. I'll be managing these expectations for the rest of my life.

Monday

So much to do. When you are looking down the barrel at a week long trip with two very young kids (and a plane ride to boot), it seems like you can never get everything done before you go.

Monday -- laundry and preliminary packing. I already have piles of my clothing, Kate's clothing, and Meg's clothing all over my bed. I have even started a pile of stuff for Jim on the floor next to the bed. Seven days away means seven outfits for each girl, at least 3 sets of jammies, plus some extra stuff in case of accidents. And panties and hair bows for Meg. And some bibs and burp cloths for Kate. Oh! And can't forget the goodie bag of things to keep Meg busy on the plane.

Tuesday -- a fun morning with friends, then off to Newnan to help Dad celebrate his 54th birthday. We are spending the night with my parents, so that means I need another bag packed for our overnight. I have piles of clothes for that event on my bed, too.

Wednesday -- spend the day with Grandaddy, then back home in the late afternoon. More laundry, finalize packing, and kiss my husband who will be home after a 2 day trip for work. TRY like hell to get to bed early.

Thursday -- 10:00 am flight. Forty mintues to the airport plus check in -- with 2 kids -- means we need to leave between 7:00-7:30 am. Wake up time for me (if I want to shower) is most likely 5:30 am. Looking forward to that already.

Once we GET to Kansas for our vacation, it will be great. There will be so many hands to help me with the girls, it will feel like an actual vacation. Jim's mom has planned a little party for us on Friday night, so many of Jim's friends will be coming over to see us before we head down to the family lake house on Saturday morning. Saturday through Tuesday will be spent at the lake, lying on the dock, cruising in the boat, and spending lots of time with family.

We return on Wednesday night, and Meg starts her 2 year old preschool on Thursday at 9:00 am. That meant that I had to run out this morning and get all the requested school supplies for her . . . wipes, markers, glue, the usual.

Of course, I got to Target this morning with BOTH girls and realized that I had left the supply list at home. Naturally. I frantically called another mom from Meg's class -- I was bound and determined to get this DONE before our trip -- only to find out that she was not home. Cringe, gulp, grit my teeth. I threw up my hands and tried to remember everything on the list. (Remember something? My brain is too filled with remembering the last time Meg peed or which boob I should use next to nurse Kate . . . I can't remember a list of school supplies!)

'Screw it.' I though to myself. 'We'll get most of it, I'm sure.' I did a good job -- only forgot one item. That might have to be dropped off sometime after the first day of school. (Oh, who am I kidding? I'll probably make a special trip out to pick it up late on Wednesday -- or make Jim stop and get it on his way home from the airport. I can't be the mom that didn't send in antibiotic wipes. What are those, anyway?)

And yes -- I did take Meg to the doctor this morning, amidst all of the packing and shopping. She's totally, 100% FINE. Well, at least I don't have to worry about THAT any more.

Wish me luck as I tackle this insane week. I am actually excited about all we have going on and all the places we are going. It's just the getting there that is the hard part.

Amazing

I realize I just posted about the potential for disaster around our house this coming week. But I had to stop and post again.

I came across this picture just now . . . one that Jim snapped on Saturday morning as the girls were lying in our bed with us.

Even at it's worst, life is still pretty amazing.

I Tell You What . . .

Jim is leaving in the morning. Tomorrow night and Tuesday night will be my first two nights alone with both girls. I'm nervous.

My dad's birthday is Wednesday. We are going to spend the entire day with him . . . fun of course, but I will be gone all day.

Why does that matter so much? We are leaving to go out of town to visit the midwestern Dahlbys on Thursday. I have so much to do to get two kids, my husband, and myself ready for the trip.

All of this is fine, really . . . I've known it was coming. I've mentally prepared myself for the week ahead.

But . . .

This morning, Meg woke up VERY late . . . sleeping longer than we've ever experienced. Red flags right away. By mid-day she had a fever. By tonight, she was pathetic. So tomorrow, we'll be going to the doctor.

I tell you what . . . it never, ever gets easier.

The Battle of the Baby Bulge

You've heard me mention the fact that I have no clothing to wear and that I'm not exactly happy with the state of my mother-0f-two body right now. Well, it's official: The Battle of the Baby Bulge 2008 is ON.

One thing that people often comment on with this blog is the honesty. So here it is -- the 100% truth about my weight. After all, if I lie about it, the person I'm really lying to is myself.


Top Weight at 39 weeks pregnant in mid-June 2008: 185 lbs
Total weight gained during pregnancy: 40 lbs
Weight last week, at my post-pardum check up: 165 lbs
Where I'd like to be: Back in the 145 lb range. 140 lbs, actually, is golden for me.
Weight loss goal: 20-25 lbs


Keep in mind -- if those numbers sound high -- I am 5' 8", so I carry more weight than all you petite little 5-footers out there. And, if the numbers still sound high, then that's just life. I've learned that the number is somewhat important, but what matters more is how you look and how feel about yourself. At 145 lbs, I think I look pretty good and I feel pretty great about myself.


Sitting here at 165 lbs, not so much.

I'm pretty dissatisfied with my reflection in the mirror these days. I kid you not . . . I prefer to go out in public toting Kate around so that people know I'm in the shape I'm in because I have a little, tiny baby. I'm crazy, yes. Why do I care what strangers think, anyway?!


I'm fighting this Baby Bulge battle with my favorite weight loss weapon: Weight Watchers. I've done it before -- twice -- and it worked very, VERY well both times. When we were trying to conceive Meg (and having so much trouble) back in 2005, I dropped about 20 lbs in about 4 months time. Then, post-Meg in autumn 2006, I did it again and lost all the baby weight . . . and then some. Here I am, on round # 3, and I'm just crossing my fingers that it goes as well as in previous battles.

This time around, I have a partner . . . Jim is back on his weight-loss wagon and is going full force into battle with me. He actually officially joined Weight Watchers and is now weighing in and attending meetings weekly. I've done that before -- but this time, I'll get my inspiration from him and weigh myself in my own bathroom. The idea of trying to find time for meetings right now scares me into staying fat, to say the least. I'll do the 'work from home' route and hope for results that are the same as those who are somewhat more dedicated than I.


My Jim -- he's lost 50 lbs since January. He's hoping to loose even more. I'm hoping to help by doing the program with him. I'm so very proud of what he's accomplished, and I'm excited to see him work hard and get to a place that makes him both happy and healthy. Weight Watchers is working for him, too . . . but that stinker gets better than 40 points a day because of his current weight and because he's a dude! I guess I can't complain . . . I get 30+ because I'm a nursing mom. I remember being at a meeting and one much older lady saying to me, "You get so many points! I want to start nursing a baby!!"


My real goal is to get back into my favorite clothes . . . and I'm shooting for a Christmas fashion show of all my old favorites. That's about how long it took me to loose it all with Meg . . . 6 months. So, if on my 31st birthday (in January) I'm wearing my favorite old jeans out to celebrate, I'll consider it one happy birthday.


I know, I know. I've had two kids. It all doesn't go back the same. The scale may say 145 lbs again, but my clothes still might not fit. Please don't feed me any more negative stuff in an effort to help me maintain appropriate expectations. I expect to fit in my clothes, be it reasonable or unreasonable. That's all there is to it. And I'm very confident it will happen . . . if not, I'll have some trouble handling that. A bridge we can burn when the battle gets us that far.


I'll keep you updated. I started the program last week . . . I'm now on a blissful Day 7. I've done well, kept to my points, and the needle on the scale is somewhere between that 160 and 165 lb mark. As long as it keeps moving to the left, I'm in good shape (or, I guess I'm working on being in good shape).

The 'Before' photo

Taken July 13th, 2008. Kate was just about a month old, and I would guess I was around 168 lbs then. Can't wait to take a picture of me in this dress when it fits like it should!

Happy Weekend

We are catching SO many smiles from Kate these days. They are like a huge ray of sunshine . . . each one I want to bottle up and never forget.

Here's to a wonderful, happy weekend full of smiles at your house!

Girls Shoes

Meg got some new kicks last weekend.

I love girls shoes. I do, I love them. I love the clothes, too. My friends with only boys have commented on how fun it must be to dress TWO girls. It is, yes. Of course the clothes are fun -- and with two, matching clothes are to die for. But the shoes . . . oh, I love dressing their feet most of all.

I don't know what it is about the shoes. Black patent leather is my FAVORITE (as was once previously blogged about). When shopping last weekend, I found some cute mary-jane-ish black shoes for Meg . . . and but they weren't the shiny black that I so adore. The sales woman tried to get me to buy them anyway. I looked at her and said -- literally, "Oh, no. Plain leather won't work. I waited my whole life to have girls, and they WILL have patent leather. I won't settle." I think her response was just a blank stare.

Meg is sort of a shoe snob, I'll admit. We are pretty much a Stride Rite exclusive family. Once I discovered that Meg's feet were wide -- and I was finally convinced that the whole 'wide' thing wasn't really a scam by Stride Rite trying to keep you in more expensive shoes -- we have only shopped at one place. They have everything a girl could need . . . pink shoes, white shoes, shiny shoes, sparkly shoes. Why waste time anywhere else?

Last weekend, Meg got her preschool sneakers. They are plain white with some small sparkle, and they look awesome when worn with (you guessed it) lacy socks. They are, I'll admit, at least a full size too big. Meg doesn't mind. She was so happy to get them, she's worn them nonstop ever since she took them out of their navy blue striped box.

You see, Meg loves her shoes at least as much as I do . . . if not more. When she received her last pair of sneakers, she literally would NOT take them off. She wore them to nap, and she left them waiting for her at the foot of the stairs at bed time (which took coaxing, no lie). At least this time around, we are taking them off in the house . . . about an hour or so after we've returned from whatever outing required shoes in the first place.

Kate? Oh, she has shoes. My 7 week old has a pair of perfectly white hand-me-down, mary-jane style Keds that big sister wore at the same young age. I haven't ventured to put them on her little feet just yet . . . it seems that our Katy-did has a tiny little foot that is somewhat narrow (like her mom). She'll wear them. Just give us time.

And when they are big enough, I'll start buying the girls matching shoes. I might cry when I buy them their first set of matching black patent leathers. THAT will be a day for the baby books, for sure.

A Good Week

I just had to let you know . . . we are having a good week at the Dahlby house.

Both girls have napped mid-day for three days in a row. There has been at least a 45 minute overlap in naps . . . time in which I can do my own thing. Sure, I used to get better than 2 hours of 'me' time each afternoon, but these days I'll take what I can get. I'll take my 45 minutes and smile about it, damn it!

And Kate has slept through the night for the past FIVE consecutive nights. I can't believe it. I called the pediatrician to make sure that her sleeping wasn't interfering with her eating. I just can't let a good thing go by without worry, as you well know. The nurse said just praise God and let her sleep. My thoughts exactly.

Nana Dahlby arrived yesterday for a brief, work-related visit, and we took full advantage of her extra set of hands and eyes. All us girls had a pool outing in the afternoon, complete with sliding and tons of jumping in. It wore ME out, and Meg slept soundly last night (until 8:00am this morning!). Nana helped with dinner and bedtime . . . it's nice to have her here since this is Jim's first week back to traveling. With her help, I can put off my worry about that situation for at least another week or so.

Our fun-filled music camp has gone well each morning, much to my delight. Kate, my sleepy bug, has slept through each session. Meg, my outgoing toddler, is now (after 3 days) holding hands with classmates and singing along with the teacher. It's been a fun morning experience.

And today . . . on a whim and because I like to push the limits . . . I took both girls out to lunch. I'm crazy, I know. We just went to our local Chic-fil-a, but BOY that was enough to get Meg totally psyched. We ate and played on the indoor playground . . . then returned home for a nap.

What a week, what a week. MUCH better than the previous two.

Maybe it's my attitude? Maybe it's my toddlers 'tude. Maybe it's the sleep. Who cares? It's GOOD.

There is a Time of Day . . .

. . . that I truly look forward to. It's one that had left our house about a year ago. Now it's back, and I didn't realize how much I missed it.

We've started the new bedtime routine. After Meg is snuggled into bed, Kate gets a bath and then I get some time alone with her. About 9:30pm, I get to wrap her up tight, hold her close, and nurse her in her nursery. We have a new nursery CD that we listen to (Meg took hers with her to the big girl room) . . . and I've already fallen in love with the sounds. Kate and I cuddle in the darkness, listen to the soft melodies. I get a few minutes to just hold her, rest, and think about my day.

I relish in it. I wrap my arms all the way around her and let her cozy into my chest. After she's off to sleep, I hold her longer than she needs to be held. Jim came in there looking for us last night . . . just wanted to make sure that I hadn't fallen asleep, too (which happens).

I didn't really understand how precious that time was with Meg. I did the same with her . . . I held her too long and listened to her music for quite a while at times . . . and I loved it just as much. But I never thought about when that the time would end.

It ends when they get big. When the become independent. Sometimes now, I'll ask Meg, "Do you want Mommy to snuggle you for a minute?" at the end of our bed time routine . . . and she has been known to say, "No, Mommy. You go." It doesn't break my heart because I know she's just becoming more and more independent. It just makes me scoop her up that much more quickly when she does ask to "Rock" in the chair in her little sister's room.

I feel lucky to have a second little one that I get to rock to bed each night. Forget that crazy worry about a 'sleep prop' or 'spoling' the child. I rocked Meg to bed each and every night until she was about 14 months old . . . until she preferred to go to bed on her own. And now I have another little angel that I can rock. Oh, how I love bed time.

Think of me tonight between 9:30-10:00pm. I'll be nestling in with my no-longer-newborn baby girl and soaking in the sweetness.



PS -- See, there are lots and lots of fantastically positive things about having a second child. Clearing my head this past weekend has really helped me to see them.

Therapy

I guess the 'baby blues' is nothing a little retail therapy can't help cure. That, and a fantastic 6 week old cutie that sleeps through the night. And a little me time.

All of which we were able to experience this weekend.

Let's start with my cutie, the little peanut born just 40 days ago. She's been a great night sleeper, almost from the beginning . . . minus the first 2 days when she had the day/night mix up going on. Since we 'righted her' she's been very good . . . stretching her night time dozing longer and longer with each passing week. By week 4 (and nearly back to birth weight), I could let HER wake ME up through the night, which was a treat after a month of waking up every 3 hours. Then at 5 weeks we were going from 10-11pm bedtime until about 4am . . . again, another treat.

Then Friday night, Kate went down around 10:45pm and slept until 5:45am. Saturday she was out by 10:30pm and not up until 6:15am. Last night, out by 10:00pm, up at 6:30am. This, my friends, is what we consider sleeping through the night. SLEEP. Now there is some true, natural therapy for you.

I cannot believe that between 6 and 7 weeks, Kate is sleeping through the night. And I thought Meg was easy.

Incidentally . . . I'm finding that I think that more and more . . . that I thought Meg was easy. If Meg was easy, then Kate is a cinch. Sure, you read about the crying and fussing here over the past few weeks, but I think that is all very much to be expected with a newborn. And I think we are out of that phase. So . . . does that mean that at nearly 7 weeks, we are moving from crying and complaining to sleeping and cooing? One can hope.

In between some of Kate's long night time naps, Mommy and Daddy got out and did a little shopping this weekend. Ahhh . . . retail therapy. I now own two skirts and two pairs of shorts that fit. Plus a couple of capri pants. And a few more shirts. Now I don't have to do my own laundry every other day so that I have something to wear. THAT made me feel better, for sure.

I think what made me feel better this weekend was that I had some time to do what I wanted. It's really hard now . . . because in order to do what I wanted, Jim had to go along with me. I needed help. He had to watch the baby for the 3 or 4 hours that we wandered and shopped. He took care of Kate when we got home so I could clean out my closet . . . out with the maternity, in with the 'fat girl' clothing (for now) . . . another task that had been haunting me for weeks. Jim had to take a back seat to what he might have needed to do this weekend so that I could do what I wanted. Jim doesn't mind doing that . . . I know he doesn't . . . I just hate to ask. Asking for this kind of help is hard . . . it feels selfish to me. But, at dinner on Friday night, I asked . . . and Jim was more than happy to oblige.

During our dinner date (with Kate), Jim and I also talked about other ways that Jim might be able to help me feel better about things at our house. I relinquished a few of my normal duties to him, and I think the relief of getting stuff off of my perpetual 'to-do' list lifted a little weight off my shoulders. Again, asking for help. I guess that I just feel like I should be able to do it all. Maybe someday I'll be able to do it all again. But right now, I do need help . . . and getting it makes me feel so much more happy.

In turn, I'm sure I was much more pleasant to be around this weekend. I'm hoping to carry that into this week. (And I'm sure Jim is hoping for that, too.)

Thanks to a weekend of therapy, I'm hoping to start this week fresh and with a good attitude. What's on tap? Meg has music class each morning this week . . . 'music camp' for toddlers. I have to say . . . just the idea of this stresses me out. Will Meg behave the way I expect -- the way she normally does? After the last two weeks, it's hard to say. (Did I mention that Meg BIT her sister yesterday? Oh, yes. On the toe. We are not back to ourselves just yet.) And then there is the stress of Kate coming along . . . will she sleep or at least be good during the 45 minute class each morning? Mmmm, another hard one.

**Deep Breath**

I'm going to try and take it in stride. Just relax. Ask for help from other mommies, if I need it. Many of them have been in my shoes, so I know they'll understand. I am not going to let this weekend of therapy be ruined by a few dancing kiddies.

Wish me luck.

A Positive Break

I need to take a break from the blog for a day or so . . .

I feel like I've nothing to write that isn't whining, complaining, or out-and-out bitching. You all don't want to check in to this site to read that. I know, it's no fun.

Give me a few days to try and gather myself. It's been a hard two weeks. Meg is at my parents for the weekend . . . Jim and I have some things we want to accomplish at home . . . and I'm hoping to get some rest. I hope to return next week with a much better sense-of-self and a smile.

Well, I'll settle for a little extra sleep and a little less griping . . . either way, it should be better for us all.