I Make It Sound So Hard

It was brought to my attention that I make having 2 kids sound . . . well, very hard.

A pregnant friend, due in February with her 2nd child, said to me yesterday . . .
"(Another friend) told me I shouldn't read your blog or I'll never want to have this baby."

I grimaced. That's not what I intended when I began this blog, and it's certainly not what I have in mind for readers right now. Is that really what people are getting from this blog? All the negative . . . none of the positive? All the bare bones truth and no appreciation for it?

Do I make it sound that hard?

Ok, so I very well may make having 2 kids sound difficult. The truth of the matter is that -- for me -- it IS hard. The transition from one to two kids has socked me so hard, I'm still seeing starry-eyed and trying to regain my composure. I didn't envision for one second the amount of work, lack of sleep, and strength of spirit it would take just to make it through each day, week, month. I was naive to think that welcoming an additional baby into our house would be just as easy as it was to welcome the first.

That's ME, though. Not everyone. Not everyone has as much trouble adjusting to this change. For some families, the change from 0 to 1 kid is earth-shattering. And for others, like us, it's the addition of multiple kids that changes their world in ways they didn't expect.

I'll admit that we do have some extenuating circumstances. The whole Jim-traveling thing is something that many moms do not deal with. I do, and it certainly doesn't make having 2 darling little girls easier. Flying solo for 4 out of 7 days each week takes it tole on me, as you have no-doubt had your fill of reading about.

I don't have immediate family any closer than one hour away, which could also compound the difficulty I face. Where some moms (many of them being my friends) can ask Nana or Papa to come over and relieve them for a bit, I just cannot. My family is also not as willing to help me out, when I do need it . . . unless I bring the kids to them, which is often more trouble than it's worth. That's just the way my family operates, and I've learned to deal with it.

I also tend to carry to much of the responsibility of our family on myself. I know this . . . it's the only child, the perfectionist in me. I find it so hard to ask for help. And now, asking for help with TWO kids just seems like so much to ask of anyone . . . I rarely do it. I suffer in silence, and then I freak out and melt down when I reach a breaking point. Jim, my darling husband, can attest to all of this. I'm working on it (with help).

So, maybe I do make it sound hard. Because for me, it has been. It is. It will continue to be for a while . . . until the girls needs are a little more similar and there is a little less work to be done.

But for everyone, it's NOT this hard. I promise.

Actually, it's significantly harder for many families. We have some extenuating-ly GOOD circumstances, in addition to the bad ones. We are blessed with many things . . . a lovely home, no financial troubles, loving friends and family (yes, our families do love us, no matter what their actions are). I have to remember how lucky I am, even if I'm having a little trouble right now. Sometimes, when I'm stuck in a rut of 'woe is me', I forget how good I have it. And then I feel bad for feeling bad because I do know how great my life is . . . how I'm exactly where I always hoped I'd be at this point in my life. When I feel bad for feeling bad, it just compounds the problem . . . it's an exhausting cycle. Ugh.

But honestly -- the truth of the matter is -- it's worth it. I know that and believe it 100%. Every time I look at my girls, I know that these temporary struggles are worth every second. Last week, Meg tickled Kate and Kate belly-laughed at her big sister. In that moment, I closed my eyes and thought, "THIS is what it's all about."

I might not blog about the good as much as the bad these days . . . but that is because I'm using the blog as my journal, my outlet for everything. But there is lots and LOTS of good going on around her. And, with some help, I'm hoping to see and appreciate more and more of it.

Sorry if I make it sound hard. I get through the really hard days knowing that millions of women do the same thing, and that families with multiple kids are far more common than families with only one. If everyone else can do it, I can, too. It's not that hard.