Hungry

Every few weeks, it seems that my toddler becomes particularly hungry.

For attention.

It makes for a few long days, but usually goes as quickly as it comes. It is unpredictable, unmistakable, and uncontrollable. If you couldn't guess, we are knee deep in an 'attention deficit' situation right now . . . Meg is being particularly whiny and needy today.

This current episode actually started yesterday. Two photo shoots kept me away from home all morning and then again for a few hours in the evening. By the time I returned around 6pm, Meg had had enough of my absence, and she made it clear that she had missed me during my time away. She clung to me. She whined when I had to pay attention to Kate. Every little need she had became a request to me . . . "mommy sit by Meg", "mommy take Meg potty", "mommy fix Meg's dinner". She peed in her pants TWICE . . . and I'm convinced the second time was definitely an attention-seeking strategy. Meg crawled in my lap, walked at my heels, draped herself all over me until I could not take it any more.

What made it worse, we had company for dinner. Having company didn't make my night worse . . . it made Meg's whining and complaining worse. It's like she turned it up a knotch to please the crowd. (So, so sorry, Dan & Traci . . . I wish our get-together could have been a bit better for everyone involved!)

Today it has continued. She had a total meltdown in music class this morning when we took our 'class photo' . . . because I had to hold a whimpering (and actually hungry) Kate and could not hold Meg in the picture. That was all it took for her to, full out, start crying. Poor thing. She didn't stop, so we took the picture anyway.

I do feel terrible when we are going through these 2-to-3 day bouts. I don't know what the best course of action is. Do I give her the attention she needs, reinforcing the behavior by giving her the desired result? Or, do I ignore her, trying to extinguish the behavior . . . even though I know she needs me and just wants some extra love?

How bad could it be to pay her a little more attention? Then again, I can't just bow to Meg because she wants my full attention . . . she does have a little sister that has needs, too.

It's really hard being a mother of multiple children. The guilt I'm dealing with as we battle through our day today is really horrible. I want to stop what I'm doing and spend all the time I have with Meg . . . to help her cope with our changing family and to let her know that we love her every ounce as much as we did before Kate arrived. But, literally, I can't. I have a 4 month old that depends on me as her sole source of food. And she needs a little of my time for other things -- like giggles and smiles -- too. I have other things -- housework, work, neighborhood commitments -- that take little bits and pieces of my time. So, I give Meg the attention that I can, and I go about my other tasks with a heavy heart and a lot of guilt.

Poor Meg. She's starved for attention, even though I'm giving her everything I can. Hopefully she'll wake up tomorrow a little less hungry for her mom.