Phases

I wish I could tell you how many times in the last few weeks I've heard, "Oh, it's just a phase . . ."



We are currently experiencing the following phases at the Dahlby House:



Meg is acting out, vying for every scrap of attention that she can possibly get. She's now realized that Kate is a permanent fixture, not to be returned or set out by the curb with big green can on Tuesday mornings. She'll take any kind of attention she can get -- positive or negative -- because, as I'm sure she figures it, beggars can't be choosers. When I sit down to nurse, she suddenly needs to potty. When I eat dinner and talk to Jim, she whines or screams, "Tinker Bell!" to distract us (why she screams that particular set of words we've yet to figure out). I think my daughter likes going to sit in 'time out.' It all can be very exhausting. "Oh," they tell me. "It's just a phase. She'll get used to everything soon."



I have nothing to wear. Seriously. And it's been 6 weeks of this. Every time I get dressed, it's a total chore. I dread it. I have to do laundry nearly every day because I only have one pair of shorts that fit, and it's just too hot to be wearing my capri's right now. I have two or three decent shirts, thanks to Jim's mom during her recent visit, so those get washed a lot, too. "You lost all the baby weight with Meg," they tell me. "It's just a phase . . . you'll be back to your regular size soon."



Kate is not on a schedule or true routine. She falls asleep each night between 9:30 and 11:00pm, then wakes up again anywhere from 2:30-4:00am. Each morning wake up time is different. Each length of time between feedings is unique. Naps . . . well, whenever and wherever. It's somewhat challenging to get anything done with one kid on a great schedule and one that doesn't even know whether it's time to eat or sleep. "By 6 months, it all falls into place," they tell me. "Enjoy this phase when she's so portable."



I'm always worried about two things: that Kate is not eating enough and that Meg might have a potty accident. Neither of these things are in my control. I feed Kate as much as she'll eat as often as she'll eat it, but still I worry that she's not gaining weight becuase she started out so as a slow gainer. I ask Meg about the potty incessently -- probably annoying her to no end -- and she's has very, very few accidents. "Relax, don't worry so much," they tell me. "This is just a tough phase for both of them. It will pass so quickly."



I'm very tired. VERY tired. Sleeping decent amounts, but still so tired every day. I've always been a morning person, and now I hate getting up in the morning. I feel like I'm such a grouch because I just DO NOT want to get up. "You're still adjusting to it all," they tell me. "You'll get past this lack-of-sleep phase and things won't seem so hard."



The good news: despite the phases we are currently enduring, I think I can safely say that we've passed through a few phases. I guess that means there is some truth to what 'they' are telling me. Kate is not crying nearly as much in the evenings the past few days, so maybe we've made it out of the evening fussiness phase. The baby acne phase is now behind us. I'm going to the doctor this week for my 6 week post-pardum, so you ladies know what other phase I'm finally past (which includes the purchasing of many Always products). ** I'll pause here to happily turn around and wave good-bye to all of those phases. **



Phases, phases, phases.



Hey -- how come when things are good, we don't really refer to them as phases? Yet when something is going wrong, it's just a phase. Like phases are always bad things.



For example, nobody refered to this time in our lives when Meg is just learning language and has such funny pronunciation or says funny stuff as a 'phase.' I love this phase with her -- you never know what she'll say. I know it will come and go quickly, as all phases do. And people don't identify the 'sleep on you' phase with newborns . . . you know, the time when your baby is totally content to sleep on you no matter where you are or what you are doing. I've never heard of that phase, though it precious and lasts such a short time.



Like I've said, one day at a time. One phase at a time, be it good or bad. We're getting there.