An Earbug

Sometimes, I get an idea or 'thing' stuck in my head, and I can't get it out. When it's a song lyric or muscial chorus, it has a cute little name -- an 'earbug'. When it's something else, it's just annoying.

Today -- and for the past few days -- it's been maternity jeans.

I have 3 or 4 pair from the last go-around . . . but I really only like 2 of them and NEITHER of them are close to fitting me. As a matter of fact, they probably won't be fitting me for a while because my butt and legs have quite a ways to go before they'll fill them out. I don't kid myself and think they'll never fit . . . sadly, I know I'll be growing into them . . . but right now, I have no jeans to wear.

I should be more clear -- I have ONE pair of non-maternity jeans that still fit, but I have already patched 3 (yes THREE) holes in the knees. Dude, I PATCHED my jeans. How old am I? Anyway, they are in terrible shape now and really are embarrassing to wear any place except the grocery store or maybe Target. Seriously, they are even almost too sloppy for a Target trip.

This situation makes me a stay at home mom with no jeans. Isn't that the SAHM wardrobe? Jeans??

So, now I've become obsessed with mustering up the nerve to talk to Jim about buying a new pair of maternity jeans. Why must nerve be mustered, you ask? Come on -- don't pretend you don't know me. Of course I don't just want any jeans . . . I've gotten it in my head that I want some Citzens or Sevens or True Religion jeans. Seriously -- I don't even have any of those fancy jeans for NON-maternity times. My weight has fluctuated too much over the past 2 years (weight watchers, pregnacy, weight watchers, pregnancy) to invest in any of the designer denim. I've never had the hutspa to buy them because they are so expensive and I want to wait until the baby-making days are over and my weight is going to be stable for more than 12 months.

Now I want some of those fancy rags, maternity style. I want some to wear for the next several months so that I can actually feel GOOD about myself for a change. Maybe it's because I'm at the lovely "fat" stage that I'm feeling down . . . but right now getting dressed is such a chore that I don't GO PLACES because I don't want to get dressed. I wish I were kidding.

I want to pick up right now and go searching for jeans . . . but I have to talk to Jim about it first because they really ARE expensive (approaching $200 for some styles!) and that is such a big cost for JEANS. I have to run it by daddy-o before I spend the big bucks . . . it's only fair. I feel like I'm coming across as a meek, insecure wife having to ask the husband for shopping money . . . but really I'm trying to be respectful and not just run out spending gobs of money on myself without at least discussing it with my other half.

Ugh. I'll probably NOT get them. But, damn, I want them!