I know. It doesn’t have the same ring to it as Oprah’s does, but I’m stuck with the name my parents gave me, so it will have to do.
Selection of Interest: “What Mother’s Do, Especially When it Looks Like Nothing” by Naomi Stadlen.
http://www.amazon.com/What-Mothers-Especially-Looks-Nothing/dp/1585425915/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-8463112-0536004?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1194295144&sr=8-1
This book, written by a psychologist, has helped me to validate all of the feelings I have encountered since I became a mother last summer. It’s not much more than a series of interviews with mothers, mixed with some psychological interpretations of what the mom’s say. It’s profound. It’s comforting. It’s really an enjoyable read for any mom.
The book begins by discussing how nothing can prepare you for the birth of your child. The writers of books dedicate oodles and oodles of text to pregnancy and delivery, but little is written about what to do with your kid when you bring him/her home. Aside from the few famous "baby whisperer" or "happy sleep habits" books, there is little a mother can turn to for comfort when it comes to caring for a young baby.
I completely and 100% agree that absolutely nothing can prepare you for having a child. People told me when I was pregnant that my life would change, and my response was a firm, confident, “Oh, I KNOW.” Ha. I had no idea. Nobody does – so says this book – so I don’t feel alone. Nothing in the world can prepare you for what will happen AFTER the baby is born. And you have NO idea what you are in for. Even if authors did write about it, it wouldn't compare to the real thing.
By no means is that a negative – it is simply a fact. You just cannot understand what your life will be until the baby is born, and that’s all there is to it.
The book talks also about ‘being instantly interruptable.’ And we are – all moms are instantly interruptable. But the book talks about things that I never realized – how when the baby naps, you may bustle around the house . . . but you are constantly doing things that can be easily dropped the second you hear your baby cry. That, too, I found to ring very true in our house – yet I never even knew I was doing that. Another example: the book discusses how challenging grocery shopping is with a baby. You may not realize it, but your mind is completely split between shopping and meeting the needs of your child . . . a daunting task for anyone . . . yet mothers do this effortlessly. So true. That must be why grocery shopping has become so exhausting.
The topic of ‘getting nothing done all day’ is also featured in it’s very own chapter of "What Mothers Do." The author made me feel so much better about myself in this chapter. She mentions that, many days, the entire day will go by and mom won’t even have taken a shower. “What did I do all day” you think to yourself – “I just played with the baby – what has my life come to?!” It’s not that mom didn’t get a shower, it’s that she consciously chose to give up her shower for the care of her baby. THAT is important – but we often lose focus on it because there is no immediate tangible outcome of a day spent with the baby. We only look back and see how valuable this work is when the baby is grown and has become a productive member of society. Ah, yes. I am working to raise a PERSON -- not just a baby. It's hard to remember that some days.
The entire book was so real and so applicable to my life as a mom. I had to write about it – I recommend it to every mom out there. I wish someone had given me this book when Meg was about three months old. Before that, I don’t know that I would have understood it, but at that point, it would have helped me SO much.
Selection of Interest: “What Mother’s Do, Especially When it Looks Like Nothing” by Naomi Stadlen.
http://www.amazon.com/What-Mothers-Especially-Looks-Nothing/dp/1585425915/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-8463112-0536004?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1194295144&sr=8-1
This book, written by a psychologist, has helped me to validate all of the feelings I have encountered since I became a mother last summer. It’s not much more than a series of interviews with mothers, mixed with some psychological interpretations of what the mom’s say. It’s profound. It’s comforting. It’s really an enjoyable read for any mom.
The book begins by discussing how nothing can prepare you for the birth of your child. The writers of books dedicate oodles and oodles of text to pregnancy and delivery, but little is written about what to do with your kid when you bring him/her home. Aside from the few famous "baby whisperer" or "happy sleep habits" books, there is little a mother can turn to for comfort when it comes to caring for a young baby.
I completely and 100% agree that absolutely nothing can prepare you for having a child. People told me when I was pregnant that my life would change, and my response was a firm, confident, “Oh, I KNOW.” Ha. I had no idea. Nobody does – so says this book – so I don’t feel alone. Nothing in the world can prepare you for what will happen AFTER the baby is born. And you have NO idea what you are in for. Even if authors did write about it, it wouldn't compare to the real thing.
By no means is that a negative – it is simply a fact. You just cannot understand what your life will be until the baby is born, and that’s all there is to it.
The book talks also about ‘being instantly interruptable.’ And we are – all moms are instantly interruptable. But the book talks about things that I never realized – how when the baby naps, you may bustle around the house . . . but you are constantly doing things that can be easily dropped the second you hear your baby cry. That, too, I found to ring very true in our house – yet I never even knew I was doing that. Another example: the book discusses how challenging grocery shopping is with a baby. You may not realize it, but your mind is completely split between shopping and meeting the needs of your child . . . a daunting task for anyone . . . yet mothers do this effortlessly. So true. That must be why grocery shopping has become so exhausting.
The topic of ‘getting nothing done all day’ is also featured in it’s very own chapter of "What Mothers Do." The author made me feel so much better about myself in this chapter. She mentions that, many days, the entire day will go by and mom won’t even have taken a shower. “What did I do all day” you think to yourself – “I just played with the baby – what has my life come to?!” It’s not that mom didn’t get a shower, it’s that she consciously chose to give up her shower for the care of her baby. THAT is important – but we often lose focus on it because there is no immediate tangible outcome of a day spent with the baby. We only look back and see how valuable this work is when the baby is grown and has become a productive member of society. Ah, yes. I am working to raise a PERSON -- not just a baby. It's hard to remember that some days.
The entire book was so real and so applicable to my life as a mom. I had to write about it – I recommend it to every mom out there. I wish someone had given me this book when Meg was about three months old. Before that, I don’t know that I would have understood it, but at that point, it would have helped me SO much.
It helps me now, too, as I look back on the past 16 months. It helps make me feel proud of myself as a mom. It also makes me feel like I deserve CREDIT for what I'm doing. Credit in the form of a kind gesture, a helping hand, a small recognition for all I do. I'm not just sitting around the house all day! What I'm doing is hard work.
Poor Jim -- since reading this book, I've certainly been asking for my fair share of credit.
If you are a mom that needs some comfort and validation for the fantastic job we do (like I did!!), this book is for you. If you know of a mom with a new baby, I think this book would make an EXCELLENT gift.
If you are a mom that needs some comfort and validation for the fantastic job we do (like I did!!), this book is for you. If you know of a mom with a new baby, I think this book would make an EXCELLENT gift.
Until my next installment of the Book Club, Happy Reading!
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3 comments:
What a cool idea!! I'm definitely checking this one out on our next trip to the library. Jackson made his maiden voyage yesterday with his new library card, looked around and wanted to go home. Next time I'll pick this up and show him how the whole process works.
Can't wait for more recommendations!
B
Okay...I'm sold. I ordered it. I was looking for a good read!
So this is when I started reading your blog ... crazy that I've been religiously following your every move since then!! (And this is still one of my favorite books,by the way!) New book for the Book Club: Becoming Child Wise by Ezzo & Bucknam.
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