Checking In

So, I used to complain all the time about how hard having two children is. How it blindsided me. How I was not at all prepared for the enormous change our family would endure with the birth of a second baby. How I was not sure I could make it.

Now here we are . . . approaching birthdays, so Jim and I will soon be parents of a 2 year old and a 4 year old. And you know what? There are so many aspects of life that are a whole lot easier these days. A whole lot easier.

Bath time, for example. That has sort of been my barometer for how things are going . . . how easy/not easy the process is for bathing my 2 girls. You've heard me talk about this before. In the fall of 2008, it was a treacherous chore that I would dread as I was making dinner each night . . . knowing that bath time followed dinner always stressed me out. But now . . . Meg is starting to bathe herself, and she can certainly dry herself off and put on her own PJs. Kate loves the bath, and she rarely gives me any trouble at bath time (minus the occasional poop in the tub, which has happened more times recently that I'd like to recall). Baths are something that I no longer fear. It's actually a bit of a break for me to stick them in the tub and watch them play.

Meals are easier . . . another threshold I've held for how "hard" life is. Kate is still my ever-messy kiddo, but she is a utensil-using savant and manages to eat pretty much everything without assistance. Meg has never been a problem at the table . . . though these days she is becoming quite picky about what she will put in her mouth. Still, they are both a LOT easier to manage when eating a meal. I might actually gain some weight back now that I find myself having a few minutes to feed myself at mealtimes.

Outings are easier. The size of the bag I must carry around is getting smaller and smaller with each passing season . . . dare I say, I'm almost back to carrying a normal sized purse on outings with the girls. Both girls are walking, both are pretty good about sticking with me when we go places (Kate, the baby she still is, is a little less cooperative at times than her big sister, but that is to be expected). Meg can buckle herself in her booster seat -- which, for those of you out there who have kids and not yet reached this milestone -- brace yourself. It is a liberating experience the first time your child belts out, "I buckled myself!" and you realize that you will now have to take fewer trips around the outside of your car each time you load up.

Each day, both of my girls are becoming more and more independent. I find myself thinking, "Wow, look what she can do now . . . that's one less thing I have to do for her!" Meg puts her coat and shoes away properly when we return home from an outing. Kate can put her dirty clothes in the hamper, and she can grab a diaper for me if she needs to be changed. Meg has discovered how fun it is to get a glass of water for herself from our refrigerator door, so I have plenty of cups within her reach if ever she needs to quench her thirst. Kate has become more and more of a big helper when we are cleaning up toys and books -- which I value and try to instill in both of my girls as an important responsibility. The independence does not make me sad . . . I don't long for them to stay babies (well, at least not all the time). I loved my babies, and I love them now as they grow into helpful, intelligent, and resourceful little girls.

The activities we can take part in our changing . . . and they are really becoming quite fun. We can work on little art projects together. Meg and I can play "Go Fish"together. Kate is learning how much fun reading and stories are, and she loves to play golf with her sister and her daddy in the back yard. We are the right age for dance class and summer camps -- which is a great escape for Meg and a nice break for me. Kate is knocking on the door of some of these activities -- but for now, we just take advantage of Meg's involvement and have a little Mommy-Kate time.

With life chugging along and getting easier each day, does this mean we are looking toward that ever-fleeting 3rd Dahlby child? As Lee Corso would say . . . not so fast my friend. Many things are easier, but on the same account, I would never say things are EASY. I have TWO young kids, for Pete's sake.

Kate sometimes fights me to get OUT of the bath tub, which can make an easy bath time go south in a hurry. Meg has learned that pretty much everything in any store is for sale, so she has taken to asking "Can you buy me this -- please?" WAY more often than I'd like when we are out shopping. The girls have learned to fight with one another . . . and that, from what I can tell, is just beginning at the age we are now. I hear it gets worse . . . I'll take everyone's word for it, and I'll try to be prepared for the constant bickering that two sisters can bring to a household.

As a matter of fact, when bad behavior like that creeps in, the children seem to feed off of each other . . . meaning if one kid is acting up, the other often chimes in in an effort to get my attention off of the bad kid and back on to her. If Kate runs away from me while out and about, Meg chases her . . . then I'm chasing two kids around my neighborhood library or grocery store. If Meg becomes whiny and wants my attention for some reason, Kate can be found dangling on my legs, trying with all of her might to have more attention focused on her. Noting like having your kids gang up on you, which is the territory I'm not entering.

Parenting these girls has also become a task that is never, ever going to be simple. I'm not talking about taking care of the girls -- that is what is getting easier. I've gotten very good at meeting needs, tending house, and keeping these children alive. But really being parents . . . that job will forever be the hardest job I'll ever have. Teaching them right from wrong, teaching them patience, teaching them respect . . . those kinds of lessons are always hard fought. While I may begin thinking that managing two kids isn't so bad . . . I will never think being a parent is a simple job.

My head is finally above water . . . at least, that's how I feel. I feel like after two years of being a mother of two, I finally am starting to figure things out. It's a good feeling to have my feet under me once again. Like I said -- it's easier around the Dahlby house, but not easy.

Just thought I'd check in and let you know.