"Normal"

The thing about bringing home a second child is . . . "normal" doesn't exist anymore.

I guess it does still exist . . . it's hiding out there somewhere . . . but it has an entirely new meaning. And it takes awhile to actually find it.

Life around the house these past three days has been great -- but literally nothing like it used to be. There are two kids now. There are two parents. We are constantly 'tag teaming' different daytime/nighttime events . . .

"I'll make Meg's dinner while you feed Kate on the couch . . ."

"After dinner, you clean up and watch Kate in her swing while I bathe Meg . . ."

"It's 1:30am and I just fed her . . . but she won't sleep . . . will you take her for a bit and I'll take a little nap?"

"Okay, you pack the bag for the doctor visit . . . I'll get the girls in the car . . ."

Jim and I are always discussing who does what and when. It's like a bit of a game right now, taking turns with each girl and filling their needs. And there is always someone who must keep one eye on Meg at all times (if Kate isn't in your arms, that is) . . . big sister LOVES her new sibling . . . so much so, we just have to watch out that her love isn't too aggressive.

We are getting used to it, one event -- one hour -- one day at a time. I'm sure a day will come when we do these things . . . our jobs with each girl . . . without discussion. It will be understood who does what with whom. That, in my opinion, will come with things become more 'normal' around here.

All in all, it is a truly unique transition.

One thing I was worried about the whole time leading up to Kate's birth: how would it feel to love TWO children? Is it possible to have the same amount of love for my second that I felt for my first? And -- personally, MY biggest question -- would I favor one?

It's like all of those feelings and worries just melt away, the second you are around both of your two children for the first time.

I wish I could explain it to those who only have one . . . and those who have more than one know exactly what I'm talking about. You don't have any problem loving two. I look at Meg exactly the same way that I did before . . . my love for her is exactly the same. And then I look over at Kate and see her sweet (sleeping) body and can't even believe I'm lucky enough to have her, too. I love her the same way I loved Meg in her first few days . . . with total awe and adoration.

I was so worried about favoring one because I've always seemed to 'favor' people in my life. Kids in my classroom, friends, even relatives . . . there has always seemed to be a favorite in my eyes. But, like I said, that just doesn't exist when it comes to Meg and Kate. There is no such thing. I love them both with every ounce of myself, and I couldn't imagine 'favoring' one over the other. It's a relief to know that I am not even capable of loving one more than the other. Now that they are both home and we are settling into our new version of 'normal' -- the idea of one vs. the other is just silly to me. I can't believe I worried about it for so long.

Yes, we are sleep deprived. Kate had her first few days and nights mixed up . . . and the billi-bed (now being returned to the home health care agency -- yea!) did not help her get the sleep she (WE) needed the first few nights. Last night was much better . . . up only to eat at 12:30am, 3:00am, and 6:15am . . . and right back to sleep each time. Honestly, not bad at ALL for the 5th night of life. If we have some more nights like that, I'll feel like I can handle it all.

Yes, Meg is having to adjust to it all. She's a little extra clinging these days, and she seems very apprehensive of people coming over . . . fearing that they are coming to take her somewhere other than home.

Yes, there is a lot to do around the house. More laundry, more feedings . . . finding a place for all of Kate's things . . . getting the basement guys OUT of here as fast as possible. The house keeps going as we ease into everything that is changing.

Still, all is going so, so well. It's not normal yet . . . but we're working on it.