It was Bound to Happen

I have officially had a HD Portraits shoot got to hell in a handbasket. I know one family that will probably never call me again for photos.

It started last weekend, when my battery died at the end of our time together. I’d been working with the family and their one-year-old for over 2 hours, and my battery just went kaput. The End. No more. I didn’t have my charger with me, so the camera malfunction brought a very abrupt end to our session.

The funny thing is that, when I packed my bag for the shoot early that morning, I consciously did NOT bring my battery charger. It had NEVER EVER died on me before. NEVER. Of course, when you tell a family that, they probably don’t believe you . . . and even if they DO believe you, they don’t care. They are only caring about the fact that you didn’t get to finish THEIR shoot properly. They only care about how stupid you are NOT to bring your charger.

I felt terrible . . . but it wasn’t SO bad . . . I felt I could recover. We’d taken 200 photos (at least), and there were some excellent shots in the bunch. I knew the family would be happy, even if they didn’t get to put the little on in that last outfit they’d had in mind. The pictures were good – I was hoping that would redeem my stupidity.

I edited the images quickly, put them in the mail to the family, and I thought that was that. They have already scheduled a Christmas shoot . . . I was hoping to use that session to make up for what we’d missed on this session.

Today, the mom called me. Oh, they were happy with the pictures and thanks for sending them so quickly . . . but their DVD doesn’t work. She put it in the DVD player, and it reads “disk error.”

UGH. Why me?

Mom says that happened before with a burned home movie DVD from a friend . . . and when the friend redid the DVD a second time, it worked. I have a distinct feeling that, even though I have already redone the DVD and am hand delivering it tomorrow, the DVD still isn’t going to work. Some DVD players are finicky and won’t play burned DVDs. I told the mom this, but she assured me if I redid it, it would work.

I doubt it. I’m going to drive 25 minutes out of my way tomorrow to hand deliver it, and I bet it won’t work.

Then what will I do? Refund her money? I’ve already offered to do the holiday shoot for free because of the battery situation.

Again – UGH. Keep your fingers crossed for me that it will go better than I’m anticipating.

It was bound to happen. Not every shoot is going to go smoothly . . . not everyone is going to like my work.

I just hope this mom doesn’t spread slander around her neighborhood about me. She lives in a large, affluent, fantastic neighborhood . . . I want to keep getting more business there.

What I've Been Thinking About Lately

Just a random stream-of-consciousness about five things that have been on my mind this week.

1. Babies Babies Babies. (surprise, surprise) I guess it doesn’t help that the business I’ve started is filled with them. And friends are having them. And some friends are NOT having them, much to their dismay. And we want one.

2. HD Portraits 2008. I’m changing my pricing structure, but still giving copyright free images. I’m worried that the increase might upset some people . . . but I’m hoping that my pictures will be irresistible and worth it. I’ve had a recent call for a probable TWINS shoot. I’m holding my breath for that one – it would be fantastic. I’m also thinking about my current business quite a bit because it is keeping me SO SO busy. I’m booked through the holidays, no lie! And my new website should be launched in the next week or two. A lot is going on with HD Portraits.

3. Finishing/Decorating our house. I think we’ve come to the decision that we’ll finish upstairs FIRST, then work on the basement. Basement finishing probably will not ensue until 2009, which I think will work out fine. In the meantime, I want to get new dining room furniture, new window treatments . . . the list goes on and on.

4. Our family budget. Yep, we made one this month, for the first time ever. It’s working out OK. It’s a learning process, but we thought it would be good for us. We waste too much money. When I’ve done Weight Watchers, I always notice how much I’m NOT eating . . . the budget is like a money diet. I am noticing how much I’m NOT spending, which feels good.

5. Meg’s preschool. My friend also has her daughter there, but she’s not 100% about the teacher . . . which, naturally, makes me wonder, too. I didn’t think I’d look at any other schools for Meg for fall 2008, but now I probably will. At least look. It can’t hurt.

Halloween, So Far

First – a huge GO DAWGS – my bulldawgs pulled it out this afternoon, and I’m delirious. What a win, what a win. That must be my first and foremost thought for this blog. It’s great to be a Georgia Bulldawg!

And now on to the topic of the hour . . . Halloween, so far.

I say “so far” because it’s still 4 days away, and Meg has already been ‘costumized’ 3 times. We had a Halloween playdate on Thursday, a day full of Halloween at school on Friday, and our neighborhood Halloween party this afternoon. All of which have been a lot of fun. Meg has enjoyed dawning her Halloween gear and strutting her stuff on all 3 occasions. We still have a Halloween birthday party tomorrow, and then the REAL thing on Wednesday.

I love it all. I never thought it would be this much fun. Granted, I did purchase Meg’s costume in August because I knew I wanted her to be cute and perfect for her first trick-or-treat experience, but I never knew it would be THIS awesome.

For the majority of the holiday, Meg is a cute black cat. She is such a good sport and wears her little kitty head and lets me paint whiskers on her face. She runs around and goes about her normal fun-loving activities, totally oblivious to the fact that she has a large fabric HEAD surrounding her head. It’s priceless.

Of course, all of the other moms that I’ve been around think their kid is equally as cute in his/her costume. Granted – there have been some CUTE ones – but Meg just takes the cake (according to me, at least). I think the fact that she has such a good attitude about the whole thing is what does it for me . . . she’s having a great time with this zany, spooky holiday.

Jim is a great sport, too. Not about his costume or anything . . . but he did let me dress Meg as Matthew Stafford for today’s neighborhood party. He knew today was a HUGE game for Georgia, so he was able to put our differences aside and dress Meg in a fashion that would declare her love for the dawgs. She was the best looking football player I’ve ever seen. They didn’t do a costume contest at our party, but she would have won for SURE. I’m think of instituting a contest somehow in the next few days just so that Meg can win it.

So, Halloween so far is a blast. I’ll let you know how the trick-or-treating goes . . . right now, when we stand on doorsteps to say hello or good bye, Meg typically just stands there and waves. I wonder how Wednesday night will go!

BOO! Happy Halloween!

No Blog Friday

Sorry -- too busy with school pumpkin patch visits, parties, and photo scouting adventures to write today. More later this weekend, I'm sure.

The Rain

Let’s here it for the rain. It has been so gloomy and dreary the past 3 days because of the rain. The clouds have only let the sun peek through momentarily, then squashed him away with their gray puffiness. Ah, the rain.

Some people love the rain. My closest childhood friend always loved rainy days. Another way of proving that ‘opposites attract’ -- I have always disliked them. It could be because of my curly hair that I hate rain . . . rainy days are never good hair days for me. It could be because of my cold nature that I hate rain . . . rain always makes me so wet and cold, even in July. I’m just not a big fan of rain.

But, these past few rainy days haven’t been bad at all. First of all, we needed them . . . our drought is so terrible. The drought is the first story on the local news every night. Now that we have rain, the drought is STILL the first story on the news. I’ve driven over Lake Allatoona, our local water source, and seen the scary remnants of boat docks and buoys sitting on the lake beds, no water at all to keep them afloat. You think that the lack of water won’t really affect you, until you see a sight like that. I am even starting to worry that they might ration water in our homes. I take water for granted – just like everyone else. What if we just didn’t have any more to use?! I’m certainly glad we’ve had a little rain to help with our drought, even if it was just a little help.

Another reason that the rain hasn’t been bad is that it’s given me a couple of days to spend with Meg. Two photo shoots have been rescheduled because of the rain, meaning that I’ve been free to play with my baby and relax a bit. Meg gets a big kick out of standing in puddles and touching rain-soaked things. She loves to rub my car when it’s wet . . . and splash her little hands in any water that has collected in our driveway. It’s fun to have had these past couple of days to share the rain with her. Much appreciated, Mr. Precipitation.

These past few days have also been good because I’m just feeling good. Life is good. I can’t complain.

So, let’s here it for the rain. It’s been good while it lasted. The sun will come out tomorrow.

Wednesday with Mommy

Meg and I have spent the whole morning together, just enjoying being together. I got up extra early to prepare for a photo shoot . . . but then we ended up rescheduling because the weather (and light) just weren’t right. So, instead of going to a shoot, Meg and I got dressed and went to the new Target by our house. We rolled through the store, singing and laughing. I dressed Meg in a super-cute new outfit that Grandma Dahlby bought her, and we got comment after comment about what a baby doll she is. I always say “thanks” when people comment on Meg’s cuteness – as if I can take credit! She’s so stinkin’ cute because she’s always happy and smiley . . . she’s just a fun baby.

Now we’ve finished lunch and Meg is feeding her babies with the new baby bottle I bought her on our trip. She’s running around in tights and a onesie . . . I’ll put the skirt back on eventually. Even half dressed, she’s a cutie.

I’m off to the doctor myself in about an hour . . . then we’ll be back home and back to playing together.

Just a regular-old Wednesday with Mommy. Not much going on here. Tomorrow we are off to a Halloween playdate, which should be a lot of fun (and give me more to talk about!).

HD

(Meg is feeding the baby here . . . but that's lotion that the baby is drinking . . . to tell you the truth, Meg likes a little taste of lotion, every now and then!)

The Cobbler's Child

Sometimes, I think that Meg is like the cobbler’s kid who didn’t have any shoes. She’s got this mom who LOVES photography – heck, even runs a business – yet she does not have too many actual studio portraits of herself. I’m trying to remedy that.

I’m so busy with HD Portraits right now, I just don’t have the time I’d like to play around with my own photos. I’m taking them, but I haven’t had time to get them up on-line. Man, when it rains, it pours. Business is really, really booming. I’m certainly not complaining . . . but I’m FULL in November! I am now consciously having to schedule time for the family on the weekends. I don’t want this thing to take over . . . I enjoy it so much, but I enjoy my family, too.

(Note to self: when people ask me the question, “Are you working?” I must STOP saying no. No longer do I “just stay home” – not that I ever “just” did anything. Staying home is harder than anyone thinks before they do it . . . and now I’m staying home and running a little business. Wow, look at me.)

So, on my calendar, I’ve had to schedule my OWN family shoot. Yes, as crazy as it sounds, I needed to put it on my calendar so that I’d be certain it was done. I have to get something done so that I can send out our holiday cards . . . and, can I tell you, I feel pressure for good pictures in that card! I know everyone will open ours and expect this great holiday photo. I’ll try, everyone . . . I hope I don’t let you down.

Even though she may not have too much in the way of studio shots, Meg is certainly not hurting for photos. Jim and I figured out that, between Meg’s birth and her 1st birthday, I took roughly SEVENTEEN THOUSAND photos. Not 1,700 . . . 17,000. Yes, we have an external hard drive just for photos. Yes, it’s almost full. It’s amazing.

I’m loving the new camera and all the fun that it’s brought to my photo shoots. It’s just a really RAD piece of equipment. I thought it might be easy to pick it up and start using it since it’s a better, more updated version of the camera I already have. Then I realized it’s a better, more updated version of the camera I had. Duh. There was a bit of frustration this weekend involving my photos and my editing process . . . but Jim-the-Great helped me figure out a way to keep my old editing the same with the new camera. And, I was having some trouble figuring out the whole focusing situation on the new camera, but practice has seemed to remedy that. I’m going to use the new camera on my shoot tomorrow . . . wish me luck.

I hope now that I can get Meg some great studio shots in the next couple of weeks. Now that I have the camera, and now that I have it on my calendar. I hate that some of my clients have more recent pictures of their kid than I do of my own!

Until the studio shots are ready, enjoy these candids from today.

Rainy Days and Mondays . . .

usually get me down, but today is a good day.

John Mayer wrote a song on his Continuum album that I have recently discovered and fallen in love with. When we were in Barbados lying by the pool, I really had a chance to listen to this charming little tune -- to listen intently to the lyrics -- and it made me cry big tears . . . not just welled up in my eyes, but rolling down my face. Jim was sleeping blissfully by me while this was going on :) I told him about it later, and got totally choked up again.

The song is “The Heart of Life”

I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There’s things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won’t all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know it’s nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
The circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won’t all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good


I know the heart of life is good, too. Bad things happen to us all, but the heart of life really IS good. This song just reached out and grabbed me at a time when I really, really needed it. Thanks John Mayer – pretty fantastic song, my friend. Way to bring me back to reality -- to be reminded that everything happens for a reason.

So, this rainy and dreary Monday isn't so bad around here. The heart of life is good.

THIS IS A BIG DEAL!

Jim stopped at my favorite ATL photography store this afternoon to pick up my camera, which I'd left there yesterday to be cleaned.

While I was there yesterday, I gushed and drooled over Canon's newest camera in their "D" series . . . the 40D. It is simply fantastic. Awe inspiring.


Since I heard about its release in September, it's been #1 on my Christmas list.


And this is what I found on the fireplace later this evening . . .

I am the luckiest girl alive tonight. I don't even have words to tell Jim how excited I am to have this new camera. It's the shiz-nit of cameras right now. I am in LOVE. (With Jim and the 40D)

THANKS JIM. YOU ROCK MY FACE OFF.

Meg and Her Girlfriend

Sorry I’m writing about Meg all week. In case you can’t tell, we missed her a ton when we were on our trip. I’m still so glad to be back hanging out with her. I thought she was happy to have me home, too . . . until her friend Lexi came over.

Meg and Lexi are 6 months apart in age, Lexi being the older of the two. We met the Kibbe family when Lexi was about 5 months old, and Meg was about negative three weeks . . . I had a big ole’ belly ready to pop, and I was flaunting it at our neighborhood pool. Lexi’s mom, my now great friend Holly, asked if we were having a boy or a girl, what we were naming her, when I was due . . . all of the friendly get-to-know-you-and-your-new-baby questions. Then when Meg was born, the Kibbes came over to congratulate us, and the girls have been friends ever since.

Okay, so maybe they just played near one another for the past year or so. But we’ve been calling them ‘friends’ for a long time now. I remember our first true play-date with Lexi was back in January of this year . . . six month old Meg just sat up and played with the toys she could reach, while one year old Lexi ran around the room, climbing on everything. I was in awe at how much Meg would change over the next six months.

(Incidentally, that playdate was also a memorable occasion for another reason . . . I came home dripping with envy over Lexi’s playroom, and Jim and I started discussing whether or not we had enough space in our house. About a week later, we started the wheels turning in the direction of moving . . . and now we are settled in our new house. It really all started with that playdate! Holly hates to think that she had anything to do with our move – we loved being in the same neighborhood. But, we’re only about 5 miles apart now, so we still see each other all the time).

Yeah, yeah . . . you have a friend with a little one Meg’s age . . . get to the point.

Sorry, I digress.

The reason for the blog is that, Wednesday, when I least expected it, Meg really became a little girl . . . all because she had a friend over to play. Lexi came by for a few hours and hung out with us. It was just me, Meg, and Lexi . . . but really, after about 10 minutes of playing, I realized it was Meg and Lexi’s playdate, and that I was really not invited. The girls played and played and played together. They filled the grocery cart, pushed it around, emptied it, and started over. They ate lunch together, sharing what was on their plates (okay, so I helped them share the food, but I know they would have if they could have). They played outside with Meg’s wagon. I kid you not – Meg pulled Lexi around in the driveway. We spent time in our playroom (still very 2nd rate compared to Lexi’s) . . . the girls rocked on horses and chairs and chatted the whole time. Lexi’s vocabulary is huge . . . Meg’s not so much, but she answered Lexi in the best way she knew how. They goofed around together for nearly 3 hours. Then, when it looked like Meg was so ready for a nap she might fall over, both girls went into their separate napping areas and CRASHED. Both slept until 4 o’clock, and then it was time for Lexi to go home.

On Wednesday, those two became real, true friends.

I saw a little glimpse of my future. As I was transferring a load of laundry from wash to dry, the girls ran up and down the hallway and had a grand old time. They weren’t paying any attention to what boring old mom was up to. I envisioned nights of sleep overs, where I’m doing other things around the house and listening to girl chatter in another room. I envisioned Meg and her friend, curled up on her bed, talking about boys and listening to music that I’ll probably hate (isn’t that what parents are supposed to do – hate their kids’ music?) . . . all while Jim and I are sitting on the couch watching a movie. It was such a rush of feeling . . . it was amazing.

I also felt a little sad. My girl growing so independent. She’s become her own person, with friends, favorites, and real, true opinions. She is certainly not the baby I once held in my arms. Heck, she hardly lets me hold her in my arms at all any more. She’s becoming a kid right before our eyes.

It made me realize . . . I won’t always be the one she runs to . . . her friends will take on some of that as she grows up. Her world won’t continue center around me. I won’t always know what she’s up to. There will be times in the future where I’ll interrupt her conversation with someone else so that she can explain to me what she’s talking about. Wow. We have a lot of things ahead of us.

I know . . . I always get ahead of myself. Meg is 16 months old this week, so no sleepovers or panty raids any time soon. But, just the glimpse I got on Wednesday was enough to make me realize AGAIN how awesome it is to be Meg’s mom. I’ll never forget that playdate, I swear. It was quite an occasion for me.

My big ole’ Meg and her friends. Ah, what a week.

When Masculinity Takes a Bow

Jim has a daughter. A beautiful, blue-eyed, strawberry blonde little girl that looks up to him in a way that I’m sure he could never have imagined.

We’d have a house FULL of girls, if I had anything to do with it. Ruffles and ribbons and bows strewn across all 3 floors of our house. Jim is not quite as committed to having more girls. Really, when we found we were expecting a girl in our first pregnancy, I think Jim was slightly disappointed . . . I think nearly every dad wants a son. But, he knew how excited I was to have a girl. He’s never looked back. He has embraced girlness and has been a fantastic sport about it.

There are lots of times in Jim’s future when his masculinity will have to take a bow. There will be tea parties. Dress up. Make up. High heels. One day, she’ll get her period. All of these are so feminine in nature, yet Jim will be right there with her all along the way, in uncharted territory.

Until just the other day, I have never thought of how hard that could be for him. How new and unnatural some if it might feel to him. After all, he’s a GUY. I look into our future and see a whole lot of things that I’ve already experienced . . . things I did as a little girl. Jim has no idea what’s coming. Sure – he has a sister – but a big brother and a dad are two very different things entirely. Jim has a new role to fill . . . and this one includes quite a bit of pink.

On Monday, on our we-missed-you-so-much-you-can-run-the-house evening with Meg, I noticed that he is having no problems adjusting to this new role. He sat on the floor and encouraged her as she brought every single baby doll she has to him, and together they piled them in his lap. He pointed out more and more dolls around the room, and one by one Meg brought them to her daddy. Then, she picked up a book and climbed in his lap . . . as if she’d brought the book over for the whole group to enjoy. It was so cute. Daddy, baby, and baby dolls . . . what a moment.

It was then that I realized how much he might not know yet. How much about being and having a girl that he will learn as our life continues. But, clearly he's learning already. I love it for him. I think it’s so awesome that he has a daughter so he can experience all of this. I love that Meg and I are right here to help and show him what being a girl is all about.

I love you, Jim. You’re a great dad, and I hope you know that Meg and I are so lucky to have you. Two very, very lucky girls.

And Then She Makes it All Better

Look how I found our baby this morning . . .

I'd left her alone momentarily, and she got into her diaper changing station. That's Desitin all over her face and body. She's A-OK . . . poision control said that there's nothing to worry about. She probably didn't eat any, anyway . . . it looks like she just coated herself with it.

After a bath, a good tooth-brushing, and a full sippy of juice, she's back to herself. Dude, that stuff coats THICK . . . it was hard to get off in the bath!

I laughed a lot (after the quick call to poision control, of course). I thank God every day that I'm a mom, that she's our baby, that I'm so lucky. It's hard for me to remember why I was so upset yesterday. I get down, and then she makes it all better.

Fertility Sucks

Why does it ALWAYS hit me like a ton of bricks when somebody tells me they are pregnant? And WHEN will that stop?!

Today, someone called to book a photo session. Of course, I’m always happy and excited to hear from someone when they are interested in having photos done. The timing of the session came up – I always do early morning for best light – and she said she is having a hard time getting up and going in the early morning because she is expecting her second baby.

They have a 9 month old. And now another on the way.

I started stammering. My hands started shaking. I got so mad and jealous. I probably sounded like an idiot on the phone. I managed to schedule the session and get off the phone -- and I managed to keep myself from breaking down.

I wish I could change the way I react and the way I feel . . . but I can’t figure out how. I had to call Jim right away and vent to him. He wasn’t much help (sorry, Jim). He just said we are doing all we can do, and we just have to see how it goes. Great advice. Didn’t make me feel better at all.

I guess it doesn’t ALWAYS happen . . . when some people tell me their pregnancy news, I honestly don’t get upset. I have a few friends that have struggled with infertility like we have, and for those couples I get genuinely excited. I know how happy they are – I have felt what they are feeling. And, of course, when my good friends get pregnant, I am also very happy to hear the news. It’s like, because I know they are a good friend, I know they didn’t do it on purpose to upset me.

Neither do the other couples – do it on purpose, I mean. But, for some reason, it just feels like that to me. Like they are flaunting their fertility in my face.

The person who called today knew that I’d had a miscarriage. Is it self-centered to say that I thought she was a bit insensitive to call me and starting talking up her brand new (7 week) pregnancy within the first few minutes of the conversation? It is, I realize. She is at no fault, of course. Why am I so self-centered when it comes to this? I know she is simply delighted to share her news – I know that is EXACTLY how I felt when we were pregnant in July. I need to harbor those feelings again so that I can act more NORMAL when I get the news that someone is expecting. Right now, my reactions are anything BUT normal.

And – I’ve lost a friend because of these wacko reactions. Back before I was pregnant with Meg – because we were struggling so hard to GET pregnant – I had terrible TERRIBLE reactions to other people telling me they were pregnant. I REALLY couldn’t handle it then. I hate that I reacted the way I did to one particular couple – I still look back and regret it. I think I’m a little better now. At least I only lash out at Jim.

I think all of this pregnancy talk from me is because I’m just hoping hoping hoping we are pregnant this month. I’ll HOPE HOPE HOPE that every single month until it happens. I’m trying so hard not to write about this in the blog – because I don’t want people asking if we are or aren’t – but it’s too hard NOT to write about it. It helps me to get it all out. (And, it saves by closest friends from having to hear about it ALL the time, I think.)

UGH -- the worst part of all of this is that I feel like we are right back where we were when we were trying to get pregnant the first time. I thought all of this was behind us. Hopefully, we'll be pregnant soon and it will be.

Return of the Dahlb-i

We are back. We arrived in Atlanta at 12:30 this afternoon, and I had to wait about 45 minutes to get through customs and baggage recovery to see my little bean.

It's absolutely astounding how much I missed her. As soon as I saw her . . . as soon as I snatched her out of the car seat in the "active unloading" zone at the airport . . . I felt like all was right in the world. I used to get this super anxious excited feeling in my gut when I knew that I was going to see Jim . . . back when we were first dating (sorry, some of the magic does fade a little) . . . the butterflies and the whole thing. Today, waiting to see Meg, I got that same nervous excitement.

Once we got home, Jim and I spent the rest of our day gushing over her. We took her to the grocery store (which she loves), we let her climb all over us and the couches (another favorite), and we let her play outside for quite a while (again, a beloved activity). Tonight, I hopped in the bath tub with her for some mommy-baby fun, and she let me rock her to sleep as a thank you. I love that baby. I love being her mom.

The trip, of course, was brilliant. We lounged on the beach and drank fun drinks all day Friday. We rented the car (see previous post) on Saturday and toured the island as a pair. We took a catamaran out yesterday and snorkeled with sea turtles. It was a great getaway for Jim and I . . . much needed and much appreciated.

I do have to comment on one random act of coincidence. (That sounds redundant . . . I guess a coincidence is a random act, right?) I told Jim that I’d HAVE to blog about this one.

On the flight to Barbados, there was a couple just a few years older than Jim and I sitting directly behind us. There was some question as to whether or not they wanted to switch seats with another family so that the couple could be more comfortable in the bulk head and the family could all sit together. Then I heard the woman of the couple behind us say, “Well, I am pregnant . . .” Of course, I still feel a little twinge when I hear that. A twinge of jealousy, a twinge of sadness. But, I really wasn’t prepared for this.

When she switched seats, I saw her pregnant belly, and I sighed. It looked like about a 20-24 week belly . . . which is exactly how far along I should have been on this trip. Jim actually booked everything for our Barbados adventure and surprised me with this trip on the morning of our anniversary . . . it was positioned as a final getaway before we were a 2-kid family. I miscarried that afternoon. I should have been about half-way now. I should be finding out the sex in the next couple of weeks . . . and I should have had my maternity swim suit on this trip.

Anyway, the fact that the woman was pretty much on the same timing I should have been was so weird . . . like fate or something. I mentioned it to Jim after I sat there in my tiny little coach seat stewing about it (not mad stewing, more sulking, I guess), and Jim said he’d thought of that already. He knew I’d noticed. It was OK, though – I was not going to spend the whole vacation sulking about being without a pregnant belly. I was going to drink up and eat seafood . . . and anything else that I couldn’t enjoy prego. Silver lining, right?

Here comes the really random part. This morning, as I stood in line at Café Blue at the Barbados International Airport, I saw the same pregnant couple again. Yep. They were going to be on our flight home, too. THAT, I thought, is my luck. I turned around to find Jim – and he’d already seen them. He and I chatted about that coincidence over bagels and muffins. We boarded our plane, and they sat right in front of us this time. The were reading “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and I listened as they discussed some of the woman’s maternity leave plans.

At the end of the flight, we chatted with them a little. I recommended a book about mothering. They told us they were having a girl. It was nice. THEY were nice. I wasn’t THAT jealous . . . happy for them, honestly . . . just thinking how weird it was that this couple – who really could have been Jim and I – were on BOTH of our flights to and from Barbados. They didn’t even live in Atlanta . . . they were just connecting both ways.

Maybe it wasn’t random. I’d love to believe that it was a sign. Only time will tell.

Our trip, although sprinkled with reminders of what could have been, was a wonderful first Megless trip. Barbados was grand. Now back to “real” life tomorrow . . . a fun-filled day with my precious little girl. At least Jim is staying in town this week. That is like a few more days of vacation in itself (for me, at least).

Cows on Your Left, Monkeys on Your Right

Hello from Sunny Barbados. About 10 degrees north of the equator, formerly British, and fantastically warm.

This vacation is simply wonderful. We’ve spent the last 2 days doing . . . well . . . anything we wanted at any time we wanted. We ate lunch yesterday at 2pm. We stayed out until 1am. We made vacation friends at a club. Today, we jumped in and out of our rental car about 50 times. I took a shower at 5:30pm without rushing to get done and get dinner by 6:00pm. Traveling without the baby is like going on a honeymoon all over again.

I mentioned that we rented a car today – and I must say, our driving experience has certainly been unique. As I mentioned, Barbados was once British, which means that a lot of “Brittish” habits have stuck. That includes driving on the right side of the car on the left side of the road.

We rented a bright blue little Jimmy with AC and no top. In order to drive the little bitty Jimmy in Barbados, we had to get a temporary license . . . naturally, I wanted a license to drive, and so did Jim. So, two licenses were obtained. I would soon learn that my license was a waste of $10 Barbados (also know as five bucks US).

We got the keys to our ride, promptly put the top and windows down, and jumped in for our choose-your-own-adventure day tour of the island. We headed north on the left side of the road . . . traveling along the cost. Jim was driving, and getting used to the ‘backwards’ nature of driving here seemed to be going well for him.

Before we knew it, we were in Bridgetown – the capital of Barbados – and had somehow ended up going down a one way street FULL of locals wandering about doing their Saturday morning shopping. We got so twisted and turned around, we ended up at a dead end, looking at each other with big eyes. What the . . . .? How did we get here?

Lucky for us, Barbados is full of friendly people. A local flagged us down and pointed us in the right direction. We were off again.

Driving on the wrong side of the road looked much harder to me now that I was sitting in the passenger side of the car with Jim on my right. He was doing a GREAT job – he was able to make right turns and negotiate the car through narrow passages with little effort. I, on the other hand, did not drive with this same sense of confidence.

Jim and I stopped for some pictures at a local beach, and when we returned to the Jimmy, I thought I’d take a turn at driving. I wanted to be able to say that I’d driven on the left. But, from the second I got in on the right side of the car, I knew I wasn’t going to like it. It was so HARD. So much harder than I thought. Just getting out of the parking lot was a feat for me. Thank God our return to the main road involved a left turn . . . I don’t know that I could have turned right. I had to literally say out loud each move I was going to take . . . “Okay, I can turn left here . . . just stay left . . . watch out for the curbs . . . “ My knuckles were white as I gripped the wheel. I drove about 5 miles, found another beach and parking lot, and handed the keys over to Jim.

My big strong Jim. HE can drive on the left. HE is way cooler than I.

The rest of our adventure was great. We found some lunch at a local restaurant, and I got yelled at for taking someone’s picture. We cruised up to the north point on the island and found Archer’s Bay. The view was breathtaking – and we were the only people there (maybe because it was off the beaten path and off-roading was necessary to get there). We found our way to the east coast of the island and drove along the coast some more. It was great.

We did see some cows, goats, chickens, and monkeys on our drive. Cows on the left, monkeys on the right. It was fantastic.

Today we will head out on a catamaran for the day. Somewhat of a ‘booze cruise’ with some snorkeling mixed it. I’m just glad to say that I won’t be doing any more driving.

More later . . . once we return to the real world. And get our baby back. I miss the hell out of her.

In about 6 hours, this is what Jim and I will be enjoying . . . sun, fun, surf, and each other in Barbados!

Jim's bring the computer (mostly for my photos . . . I'll take more than my 5 gigs can hold, I'm sure) . . . if I can, I'll send some updates.

Have a GREAT WEEKEND!

Pumpkins Pumpkins Everywhere

Julie and I took Meg to the Pumpkin Patch at her school this evening . . . I'll have to write more about it later. For now, check out the album to see all the fun she had.

I love Autumn!

Today is Wednesday

Yep. That's about it. Nothing earth shattering or ground breaking to write about today. It's just Wednesday.

Meg didn't morning nap today . . . she slept until nearly 8am, so I just decided to keep her up through the morning and see how she did. We went and ran errands about 10:30 . . . and as we returned home an hour later, I noticed her eyes rolling and her head bobbing in the backseat. Of course, meany that I am, I started tickleing her and singing at the top of my lungs to keep her awake. I was trying feriously to keep her up until 1pm, then she'd have one nice long peacful (mommy free time) nap.

It worked. Now it's 2:30, and she's still asleep. Jim's sister is coming up soon to visit and do her laundry . . . poor thing is in a bit of apartment limbo. Her roommate (and best friend) took a new job in Texas, leaving Juile flying solo and apartmentless. She did have a good start on a new, fab house in Midtown ATL, but that fell through. So, right now she's sharing a 3 bedroom with 3 other girls . . . meaning that she's sleeping on the couch . . . and she doesn't have a place to wash her clothes. Poor Julie. She could stay here, of course, but I don't know many single, fun, cute 25-year-old ladies that are looking for a place in the suburbs with their sister, his wife, and baby.

Anyway, that's all that is going on here today. At least I got to shower today . . . the last few days have been run run run and stink stink stink with no time to bathe. I made it a priorty today :)

If I have time, I'll post when I can on our trip . . . but, if not, then I'll be back to blog life when we return on Monday. Try not to miss me too much!

They Grow Up Too Fast

Meg and Mommy -- Oct 2006 and Oct 2007

I can start this blog off by saying this is probably not the last time I’ll write about this subject. It’s just the first time it’s crossed my mind to share my thoughts on it.

Meg is growing up way too fast. I look at her and I simply can’t believe that just one year ago she was my little tiny baby, nursing 10 times a day and wanting you to hold her with you when she slept. This time last year, I didn’t think I’d ever live my life more than 3 hours at a time (between feedings) . . . and I never thought I’d be able to get out and about in a “normal” way again. I wish someone had told me how fast those days go. Well, people told me, but I couldn’t see it . . . when you are IN those days, they certainly don’t seem like they are going by very fast.

But they do.

Tonight, she let me rock her for about 10 minutes . . . a very rare treat. We used to rock EVERY night for 30-45 minutes . . . but we haven’t done it since I stopped nursing her 2 ½ months ago. She prefers to be put right into her crib with her lovey. No rocking necessary -- but thanks, mom, for trying. I used to complain about having to rock her . . . well, not really complain, but “gripe” about the amount of time it would take to put her down for the night. But, then again, on some nights I sit there forever holding her so close while she slept peacefully on my chest, listening to her bedtime music and rocking rocking rocking. I would think, “I’ll get up after one more song . . . “ and, before I knew it, the CD would be over.

Now I miss those days. I miss her needing me as much as she once did. I miss nursing her . . . that I miss a LOT. She’s turning from my baby to my toddler, right before my eyes.

My friend and I were talking last night about her 4 year old, and I think she put it so well . . . she said she just wants to bottle him up and keep him exactly how he is right now. She says that 4 is her favorite age so far. Of course, every age and stage is every mom’s favorite, really. And, if we bottled them up, we miss out on all the fun things that come with new ages and stages. I guess that’s why they can’t be bottled.

I did a one-year shoot today for a cute little boy, and his mom asked me if I had been sad when Meg turned one. I think that her birthday was so exciting, I wasn’t very sad about the event . . . but, now that it has come and gone, I can feel a twinge of woe about her growth. I do miss my baby.

Yet, when given an opportunity to share Meg’s milestones with other moms today at swimming class, I wanted to share the most “grown up” thing that Meg can do. As if to show off how BIG she’s getting. I told everyone that she eats with a fork and spoon now – which is our big thing around here lately – but how can she be big enough to do that already?!

One year ago, I couldn’t wait to have a walker and talker. Now, one year later, I can’t wait to have a new baby to start all over with . . . but not to replace Meg, of course. I want to watch her continue to grow and change with every day. I couldn’t dare bottle her . . . I can’t wait to see what she becomes.

Hectic

This is going to be a hectic week.

How do I know? It's 8:15 pm, and only now have I had a minute to sit down and devote a few moments to the blog. I feel like I've denied my poor blog friend . . . and, sadly, I feel the denial may continue for a short period. No worries -- I faithfully pledge to renew my bloggy spirit once we have returned from our vacation.

Vacation? you ask. Yes. Vacation. Jim and I are off to Barbados at the end of this week for a very romantic, fun and sun filled, baby-less trip to the tropics.

We will be departing from ATL on Thursday, arriving in Barbados just 4 short hours later. There we plan to do a whole lot of nothing -- and a whole lot of cool stuff, too. We'll return on Monday. Meg will spend the entire time in Newnan with her Grandaddy and Grandma. To say that we are looking forward to the getaway would be the understatement of the year. To say that my parents are looking forward to having Meg for 5 days would be the understatement of the CENTURY.

Everyone is excited about the week to come. But -- before we take off to tanning and sleeping-in in Barbados -- we have to get through the week. I have so much editing to do for HD Portraits . . . 3 shoots in the past week. Jim has to travel tomorrow and Wednesday, returning late Wednesday night. There is a lot of packing to do . . . even if Meg isn't going along on the trip. I have to get us ready for Barbados and her ready for Newnan . . . both tasks equally challenging.

I also need to keep up with our daily activities, such as music this morning and swimming tomorrow. Oh, and then there was the pop-in visit my dad did today (welcome, of course . . . but about 3 hours were used for the unplanned activity) . . . the visit to my cousin this afternoon . . . running by Meg's doctor and her school to transfer some paperwork . . . etc etc etc.

Like I said, it will be a hectic week. I usually let myself think -- "Oh, this is only one week. Life will settle down once we get back." But why kid myself? Life is NEVER going to settle down.

And that's OK with me.

Here's to a Hectic Week!

A Saturday in the Life

7:11am: Wake up, snuggle with hubby in bed for a few while waiting for the familiar waking sounds on the baby monitor

7:25am: Hubby is kind enough to get baby from bed. Brings her into our room, family bed snuggle for a time period that is never long enough.

7:40am: Shower – sans baby, which is always nice. Baby gets a pancake breakfast from daddy.

8:10am: Join daddy and baby for some coffee and morning chat.

8:25am: Clean up baby from breakfast. Realize that there is still bleach cleanser from previous night’s cleaning on baby’s booster seat tray . . . and she has just eaten her entire breakfast from said tray . . . PANIC ensues.

8:26am: Run upstairs with baby in arms and report bleach discovery to hubby. Hubby explains that the tray was rinsed prior to feeding . . . but agrees that there is still bleach on the tray. Panic continues. Meanwhile, baby is blissfully unaware and playing with her toys in parents’ bedroom.

8:27am: Call poison control. Report bleach discovery.

8:29am: Poison control conversation ends, as does the panic. PC people inform us that babies must ingest QUITE a bit of bleach before problems occur. No harm done. PC says that, even if baby were to get sick later it the day, it would most likely NOT be because of the bleachy breakfast tray. They also inform us that this is not the first time the have heard of this type of situation. We are not bad parents, and the baby is fine. Calm comes over the house. Baby continues to play peacefully.

8:35am: Dress baby, change a poopy diaper, pack diaper bag for the day’s outing.

8:50am: Daddy makes mommy coffee-to-go, packs baby and bags into the car. Mommy is VERY grateful for this and is able to casually jump into the car.

9:00am: Leave the house. Headed to Newnan, GA for a day full of football watching with my parents. Baby snoozes on the drive.

10:00am: Arrive in Newnan, but not at my parents’ house yet. A quick stop at Rockin’ B’s Antiques provides mommy with a fabulous new wooden chair to be used in her photography business. A little touch-up might be needed, but otherwise the chair is in great shape and is only $12.00. Score.

10:30am: Arrive at parents’ house. Unload baby and bags. Eat breakfast (again) with the family.

11:00am: Football watching ensues, beginning with pregame shows. Baby plays and plays with grandaddy and grandma.

12:00pm: GT/Maryland kicks off. Daddy becomes engrossed in his game. Mommy changes another poopy diaper.

12:45pm: Mommy and granddaddy fix Meg lunch and feed her while daddy watches his game.

1:30 pm: Baby goes down for a nap. Mommy snoozes on the couch for 30 minutes.

2:30pm: Mommy makes lunch for herself and daddy. Lunch is eaten and football watching continues.

2:50pm: Grandaddy gets baby up from her nap. She is well rested and ready to play. Mommy dresses her in her #7 Matthew Stafford jersey in preparation for the Georgia/Tennessee game.

3:00pm: Daddy’s day is over, and the game stunk. Sorry Daddy.

3:30pm: UGA/TN kick off. Mommy changes ANOTHER poopy diaper.

4:00pm: Mommy shares some chicken wings with baby, who parades around the living room asking for food AND asking you to show your belly. Her life and laughter are a welcome distraction from the terrible UGA game that is on the TV.

5:00pm: Mommy and granddaddy start talking about how the last time UGA won the SEC championship, they had 2 losses. The game is NOT going well. Baby plays. Daddy watches the game with mommy and granddaddy (and is probably secretly happy that UGA is losing).

6:00pm: Mommy starts to discuss what baby should have for dinner. The Georgia game goes to into the toilet. Mommy plays with her camera and starts taking lots of pictures of the playing baby.

6:30pm: Grandaddy feeds baby dinner. Mommy sits and watches, enjoying the view. Daddy packs up our things.

7:15pm: Say our good-byes and depart Newnan. Baby falls asleep in the car. Daddy and mommy chat on the drive home about various and sundry things, mommy enjoying the conversation very much.

8:20pm: Arrive back home. Scoop baby up from her car seat and transport her to her bed. She remains asleep (and Mommy thanks God for that blessing). Immediately get onto the computer to see what has been going on all day. Read emails, check Flickr. Begin to work on photo editing that needs to get done ASAP.

9:45pm: Break to write this Blog.

Maybe I’ll go to sleep around 11:00 . . . or maybe I’ll stay up editing. Either way, it will be a great end to a great day (minus all the sucky football).

The World of Television

Autumn is here. That means football, cool weather, pumpkins, costumes, turkeys . . . and the new fall line up on television.

Ahhh, TV. If only I could get myself off the computer long enough to actually watch it.

Around here, we are faithful watchers of NBC’s Thursday night line up. When I say we, I mean myself and the kitties . . . Jim usually is not home to watch these shows with us. He watches them on TIVO, usually late on Friday or Saturday night, once I’ve gone to bed. The kitties and I watch Earl when we can, we watch Grey’s on TIVO later in the weekend, I usually don’t miss ER . . . and we NEVER, ever miss The Office. In 5 words: The Best Show on TV.

I LOVE THE OFFICE. I think I can relate to it on so many levels because I worked as a salesperson in an office just like Dunder Mifflin Scranton. It was a small, satellite office with our headquarters in NYC. We sold ad space – the coupons in the Sunday newspaper – which was almost as trivial as being a paper middle-man, as they are at DM. We had a goofy boss and a host of characters in our office. Of course, it wasn’t as extreme as the boss and the characters in Scranton, but you get the idea. I love the humor and the storylines in The Office. I couldn’t wait for it to come back this fall.

Another thought for another blog: Jim and Pam – together or not together?

What leads us up to Thursday night? Well, only a few shows, really . . . it seems that there isn’t a whole lot that we watch as faithfully as our Thursday night programming. Monday is a dud – nothing on that holds my attention. I think Dancing w/the Stars is on that night . . . and I’ll get into that later in the fall when they news programs/entertainment shows start talking about it more. Yep, I’m a fair-weather DWTS fan. Tuesday . . . um, again, not much. Wednesday is Private Practice, which, for me, is as hokey and stupid as Grey’s Anatomy.

Yes – I said it – I think Grey’s is stupid. I think the story lines are already tired and the medical antics are way too unbelievable. Sorry, everyone. I still watch it because everyone else does . . . and on TIVO it’s only 40 wasted minutes of my life . . . but I really don’t like it.

Anyway, Wednesday also has a new show, Dirty Sexy Money. I kinda like that one. I got roped in to it when it followed Private Practice last week, and I actually think it could be a cute show. Only a couple of episodes have aired, so I’ll have to get back to you on that one.

Then there is, of course, Thursday . . . and once we’ve made it through the weekend (which, in our house, is full of kid TV, usually – oh, and golf and football, too), we are back to Sunday night. Sunday night has historically been an HBO night around here. This fall, their debut of Tell Me You Love Me has kept this ritual alive. I LOVE this new show. 4 episodes in, and I can’t wait for the next. It’s 100% a chick show – although somehow I’ve convinced Jim to watch it, too – and it’s so so good. It’s all about relationships among 4 different couples at different life stages . . . and only this week have the lives of those couples begun to intertwine. Nice. Love HBO. Love Tell Me You Love Me.

Not only is my own adult programming new, but so is Meg’s preschool TV. They have started running new episodes of Sesame Street on local public television, for which I am extremely grateful. I have found that I can only take the same episode so many times. They even have a newly “hip hopped” version of the Sesame Street theme. I’m still on the fence about that . . . the words are still the same, but the beat is jazzed up. Not so sure I like that change. And – one negative about the new chronicles of our friendly neighbors on the street – the Elmo’s World segments don’t seem to be new. Elmo is still talking about balls, the sky, skin, cats, dogs, and a million other topics we have seen a million other times. Come on, Sesame Street Workshop . . . can’t you get that puppet in the studio and get him to think about a few new topics?!

Television is great. Now if I can just keep Meg from watching as much of it as we do . . .

Bloggy Backlog

I realized that in my grouchy weekend of arguing with Jim, I did manage to have some real fun with my family. And I neglected to Blog it . . . what a shame. On this Wednesday morning, as we get ready to head to my parents for the day (which means possibly no blog tomorrow!), I thought I’d catch up.

Last Friday, Meg had a fantastic “first.” She didn’t amaze us with a new vocabulary item, and she didn’t consume something that was funny or cute or unique. Not that kind of first. She went to her first parade. I had learned from a neighbor that Lassiter High – the school across the street from our neighborhood – was having their Homecoming Parade right around the corner from us . . . so I was determined to take Meg to this exciting event. Jim was traveling but arrived home just in time to load Meg in the Jeep (stroller) and shimmy on over to the festivities.

I love LOVE doing things like that with our little girl. To watch her as she just takes in all the chaos and excitement around her is so much fun for me. I can’t get enough of her amazed looks, her big eyes, her constant clapping, cheering, and giggling. When I hear about events like this, I just can’t wait to attend them. As she grows, I know there is going to be more and more that I can enjoy with her . . . and I find that I’m impatient for those experiences! I want to take her to Disney . . . to the Circus . . . to the movies . . . anywhere that kids love. With time, Mommy. Just wait. As I’ve learned, they grow SO fast . . . these times will come (and go) so quickly.

But, I digress . . . the parade, that’s what I was talking about. Jim and I both were in awe at the event that the parade really was. The floats were huge! The homecoming girls were beautiful (did we look like that in high school?). The candy thrown from the parade participants was magnificent. All in all, the parade was quite a spectacle, and we all had a great time. Mind you, it went from the Home Depot parking lot to the school . . . maybe ¼ of a mile. But still, it was awesome.

The other “first” that Meg experienced over my grouchy weekend was truly a “second.” We took Meg to Georgia Tech to tailgate for the GT/Clemson game. I say it was a first because it was her first time getting all dolled up and roaming around the campus . . . actually experiencing the event . . . but we did, in fact, take her to a brief tailgate last year when she was about 3 months old.

Meg love it. Of course – she friggin’ loves just about anything. We strolled her around (showing her off, of course) and let her get down and run. We had a great time watching her at this event, too. We took her to the pep rally and watched her cheer and clap for the band. We watched her fall out of a folding chair, too . . . but she was OK.

So, in spite of myself, we had a great weekend. Sunday we took Meg to a park filled with other kids, which she loves . . . and Sunday night we capped everything off with about an hour’s worth of playing in the driveway.

When I look at all the nice stuff we did, it’s hard to remember why I was so grouchy.

Poop -- Worthy of a Second Blog Today

Today, Meg and I joined our friends for an all-new swimming aerobics class. "Oh Baby! Fitness" it is called. It's great, except for the diaper situation . . .

See, they make you put your baby in a reusable "swim diaper" -- not the fabulous disposable ones that seem to be perfectly fine for every other pool we've been to in the past 15 months. Nope, at this swim facility, "tighty whitey" swim pants are a must. NO diaper underneath. All of the moms were a little confused by this . . . but we obliged with the facility's request and dressed our babies.

Now I know what I have to look forward to during our potty training stage.

I put the cute little panties on Meg . . . no diaper underneath . . . and declared to my friend that Meg had already pooped twice today, so we should be in the clear. Of course, what a STUPID thing to say.

As soon as I suited Meg up, she did a VERY familiar crouch and grunt . . . which I KNEW was poop, but I let myself believe that it was just her funny way of getting comfy in her swim gear. As we loaded up to head from the locker room to the pool, I stuck my finger into Meg's pants . . . just to be on the safe side.

Poop. No doubt.

Off comes the swimsuit, which flew onto the floor . . . I stand Meg on the bathroom counter so that I can pull off her swim pants . . . but she kicks and flails and stomps her FOOT in the poop . . . so then there was poop on the counter, and on her foot, and on her butt, and in the diaper. Oh, and on my finger, too. Yum. I throw her in sink (ever washed a toddler in a mini-bathroom sink?) . . . manage to clean her foot, butt, my finger, the counter . . . let her down so that she can run naked through the locker room while I dump the poop in the toilet and wash out the pants . . . redress her in a WET swim diaper (THAT was easy to get back on) and pull on her swimsuit.

Deep breath. Can't wait for swimming next week!

(Aside from the poop fiasco, swimming really was a lot of fun!)

How Long Will it Last?

Not the funk . . . I’m feeling better today. I woke up to a super smiley Meg, which always gets a day off to a good start. She was a good girl while I dressed this morning . . . she let me shower and dress without whining or pulling at my leg. So, this day is starting off better than the last few have. (Jim did kiss me goodbye at 4:30 am, though -- gone until Friday night. Boo.)

What I'm wondering is how long our morning naps are going to last. I feel that the days are numbered . . . some days, Meg skips it and stays up all the way through lunch Other days, she can barely keep her eyes open past 9:30am. According to the books, this am nap only lingers through about 18 months, if I’m the luckiest of lucky moms. “They” say that she should really start dropping this nap right about now, at 15 months.

Today, we went for a walk at 9am, played at the nearby part for about 25 minutes, then returned home. Meg promptly went to sleep upon our arrival home. But on Friday she went to school until noon, came home, ate, played, then went down at about 1:00pm. Her mood on both days has been great . . . so I’m wondering if she’ll ever really be ready to give up that nap 100%.

Maybe I should just make it a “take it if it’s convenient” nap. It sure would be nice to get up and get out of the house some days . . . run errands, meet friends, etc. Maybe if I just start doing that stuff, we’ll see that the nap fades away.

Or do I want it to fade? I do like this time I have in the morning to myself. I can shower, eat, rest, work on HD Portraits . . . whatever I want. Would 5 hours of Meg be too much for me?

Ah, the life of a SAHM. To nap or not to nap.

That’s what is on my mind this morning. Nothing exciting or thought provoking . . . just wondering what to do about our napping schedule. If you have any suggestions, I’m open to them. God knows I’m in new territory here with a toddler!